Reading What Rules

Mar 31, 2005 05:52 # 34765

InMyOpInIoN *** tells about...

New Beginnings

100% | 4

This is my first post in the "What Rules" category.. actually, it's my first post in any category. So, bear with me if the article is a little not-so-great.. ha ha! There's a lot of talent that I am going up against..

Well, about three years ago, my mom made the announcememnt that my family would be moving. Not out of the city, but to a complete different side of the city. That meant a new school for me, and a new neighborhood for all of us. This new neighborhood was completely different from anything that my family had ever known before. We would be living in a townhouse right in the heart of the city, opposed to the house we owned deep in the country. (My mom and her husband had finalized the divorce). There were tons of people in our new area, and I was excited about the prospect of making new friends, but a little apprehensive as well. About two months into our new home, we got new neighbors. It turns out this little incident would be the start of a very long friendship-turned-more between me and a guy named James. James was very different from any guy that I had ever been interested in before. He was tall, blonde, and muscular, and I always felt calm and safe around him. As I'm sure you might have already guessed it, we started hanging out a lot, eventually turning in to a couple. I was no longer Ashley, nor was he any longer James. We became "James and Ashley" to everyone who knew us. No more birthday invitations to just me.. it was to James and Ashley! Of course, we thought it was great. Well, he turned out to be my first true love, along with many other "firsts." As with all things, though, all good things must come to an end, and after a year and a half, we decided to call it quits on our relationship. I know now that moving across town wasn't such a terrible experience now.

About two years ago, my mom got into a relationship with a somewhat older man, and my sister and I didn't really trust him. We always doubted him, and we often started fights. Well, they dated for a long while, then my mom came in one day with a ring and made the announcement, "We're getting married!" It was at that moment that I saw how truly happy she was with him, and that if he made her happy.. why should I fight it? So, for the next two or three months, my sister and I began to get close to him. I found out that we actually had a lot in common. I even called him up one night and asked him for advice about a certain situation, when I had plenty of friends that I could've called. Two weeks later, he was killed in a one car accident. It was very hard on our whole family, but especially me because I realized how much time I wasted being bitter towards him. After long sleepless nights of wallowing in puddles of tears, I finally began to heal. Through it all, I managed to learn a few lessons. first of all, I learned that you should never judge someone by their outward appearance, because you could miss out on a really fulfilling friendship. Also, treat everyone that you come in contact with with some respect and dignity. You never know when you'll see them again. Last but not least, I learned to LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST because you never know how long you have to live on this earth. Have no regrets, and don't try to grow up too soon! I take these things and I try to use them every day. I thank God for new beginnings and allowing me to learn in the midst of my trials.

~Ashley (AK)~

"Ask not what your country can do for you, instead ask what you can do for your country.."

This post was edited by InMyOpInIoN on Mar 31, 2005.

Mar 31, 2005 06:26 # 34771

mclaincausey *** replies...

Re: New Beginnings

96% | 3

I'm truly sorry for your loss. Even though the pain was worse than it would have been if you had maintained your distance, it still is better to have known him and liked (or even loved?) him. That's how good it is to know a good person; it's worth that kind of pain. Plus, it probably helped your mom cope with the loss to have you commiserate with her.

It's hard not to judge a book by its cover, and when someone courts one of our loved ones, we have a keen eye on them. It's our protective nature, and possibly our selfish nature, too. It's very difficult to know the difference between being protective and being judgemental. I think the best way to figure this out is to regard the person in the context of their being another human being, and to forget for a moment their involvement with your loved one, since that can color your view of them. Figure out if they possess traits that you value in a person, and then go from there.

And it looks like you figured that out for yourself. It's a pity that the relationship that grew from that discovery was then cut short, but it's good to see that you appear to have adjusted well and still learned the lesson life taught you.

New beginnings are truly a blessing and a gift, and should be cherished. The only thing more tragic than a wasted life is a redeemed life that is subsequently wasted--saved from destruction only to be later destroyed. I was given the chance to make a new beginning in my life, where I once faced certain, self-induced annihilation, and I'm grateful every day for my new beginning. It has taught me to appreciate life more than I ever did before, and the trials encountered along the way taught me things about life that I might never have learned had I taken an easier, more straightforward path.

Welcome to NaO, and thanks for sharing!


Ewige Blumenkraft!

Mar 31, 2005 07:37 # 34772

InMyOpInIoN *** replies...

Thanks Mac

84% | 2

Thanks Mac..

You truly inspired me tonite through your reply. I never really knew how many people out there actually cared about other people's problems. You not only read what I had to say, but you took the time to respond. For that, I am grateful. I just wanted to say that I appreciate your honesty, and I look forward to reading your writings. Thanks again for the encouragement. It's nice to know there are still some good and decent people in this crazy world!!

~Ashley (AK)~

"Ask not what your country can do for you, instead ask what you can do for your country.."

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