Reading harold_maude's journal

I'm not sure what day of the week it is because dispite not having anything to drink last night, I woke up with what felt like a hang over.
I've been in a weird haze all day and nothing feels in focus right now. My eyes feel like they're covered with a strange mist, and no matter what I do I can't get rid of the sensation.

Maybe this is all just some on going dream that I can't wake up from. Maybe I'm in some sort of coma and everyone I've met and have come to know are just part of this dream....maybe nothing is real.

It's funny how things can feel that way, for days and even months on end.
Sureal, detached most of the time, then so painful that you feel like your skin has been peeled and your muscles are showing and some one is tossing salt at you.
Yes folks, I think I am mad, or at least have moments of madness.
I think it's more common than people talk about.

Oh to be a drift in a pirate ship, and sail the seas with no thought of land or where were going to land...
That's where I want to be.

Jobless once again, I have fallen into a deep hole where the river disapears underground and comes out somewhere. Knowing that life is like that, I don't worry about jobs anymore.
I know they will come and go, just as the moon and sun come and go, marking seasons.
Out of focus, out of time out of season...
There are places that mark the journey and they only look bright
to you because they are made for you.
I know I'm still tired. I took a nap and had a hard time waking up.
My feet were freezing and I couldn't move. I was locked in and it felt like someone had shot me full of some kind of debillitaing drug so that I would sleep forever.
And not wake up.
All the dreams lately have been in color and very vivid.
Like watching stero t.v. in a place where you just are, there is nothing that makes sense, and you just travel around doing things and interacting with people you know who are doing weird things that make sense and don't make sense all at the same time.
Then you want to wake up because it's getting too weird and you can't.
You spend the next 3 or 4 hours trying to wake up and it doesn't work.
I wish someone would show up and tell me what's going on, and help me figure all this out.
I hope I'm not going into a fracture again.
I really hope I'm not.
That's a truely scary thought.

It only looks that way because your standing on your head.