Reading Articulate_AzN's journal

So today was graduation at our school. im not a graduate, but i had to go because the band plays at the ceremonies, and i, of course, am in the band.

the band lost 22 seniors this year (which is a lot considering our band was only 90 some-odd people), many of them my very close friends. it was so sad, yet exciting, watching them walk across the stage and get their diplomas and move on to bigger and better things.

one of the people graduating from the band was my very good friend Malorie. we were very close, and she was one of the few people who really enjoyed me for the loud obnoxious strange-humored person i was. she will be going to college in Rochester, NY, which is very far away from Hendersonville, TN.
i didnt cry (thank God, i was wearing makeup, which i dont do often anyway, and plus, i dont do the public emotion thing)
but i was so sad. im going to miss her so much. i dont know what its going to be like next year without her. i know she will be happy in New York, though. she always talked of wanting to go back.

so next year i will be an upperclassman. i will be one of 12 juniors and seniors in the band. our band will be very young, and im really scared of how this is going to work out. i have to be a role-model, a leading figure. there arent many of us for the new kids to look to, and i dont know if i can do it. i always had that sense of knowing that if i messed up, someone would be there to pick me up and help me out. thats not there anymore, and im so afraid that i will do something terrible, and no one will be there to help me. but i think i can do it. ill be strong for everyone else as the graduating seniors were for me. so now im taking their place, and its a strange feeling.

things change so often, right when youre getting used to it all. its really disappointing, yet it keeps everything interesting, but you always have those moments you wish could just last forever. this year was full of those moments. but im sure this next year will be also.

xo Connie ox

"Wishing on a star that's already burned out..."