Reading rosyxxx's journal

What I want to know is: Does the average 20-to-30-something in America today (or for that matter, anywhere) think that sex should occur by or before the third date?

You know how in the fifties (either from memory, or from being told) it was sort of de rigeur to kiss by the third date? And how in the sixties people just said: "Love the one your with?" Meaning: Sex is just sharing love, and it's okay to do it whenever you feel like it. In the seventies that seemed to get turned into SCORING again. By the eighties, people were extremely confused, but the pretense of being a 'good girl' was still up. Enough to protect those of us who feel raw from having sex too soon in a relationship. I'm not quite sure what happened in the 90s. I don't think I remember properly. :/

Anyway, my point being, that these days it seems to me as if the common consensus for 20-to-30-somethings is that they are being 'cheated' if sex doesn't occur after not only several weeks, but God forbid, if it doesn't occur somewhere on the first three dates.

I for one, know how easy it is to get emotionally attached to someone on any level. I don't feel like going there with someone I don't know that well. And how can I know someone after three dates, let alone several weeks? I don't care if I WANT to have sex... I know I am not ready.

I guess I am just the classic woman. Love is a prerequisite for sex for me. But somehow, it seems to make people feel that I am trying to manipulate them by not having sex. And I just want to get to know them, learn to trust them, fall deeper in love, BEFORE I make love to them. How can I make love to them if I don't really know them? Isn't that just called fucking? Or unreciprocated 'altruistic tendencies'? And doesn't that make most people feel hollow inside eventually?

When I am having a bad day, getting laid by someone I don't know isn't going to fix it for me. And the fuckbuddy thing doesn't get it for me either.

I mean, you can make love to someone while you have them tied to the bed, and do kinky things. Or you can fuck them while you do those things. The difference is what makes you smile, and what makes you cry later when you are alone.

I don't feel like crying. I feel like smiling.

And I feel it worth adding here that the act of smiling should be spontaneous, and not coerced by motherfuckers you don't know. Excuse my language. *huffs*

And yes, I DID just get told by some asshole that I just need to get laid and it will fix all of my problems. It DOESN'T do that... it just shoves them under the rug. I want sex for the joy of having it with someone I love, not to fix my problems. I call the latter USING someone.

Anyway, just curious about the above-mentioned question. Is it now considered common among young people to have sex as quickly as possible into the relationship? I hope not.

If mountain goats like living at high elevations, why do none live in high rise apartment buildings?

What I want to know is: Does the average 20-to-30-something in America today (or for that matter, anywhere) think that sex should occur by or before the third date?

I actually had sex with my beloved one at our first date, but then I already knew her for 3-4 months. We already did phone each other on a regular base, so I at least knew (and liked) her character, her personality. If we'd like to transfer this mentally into some non-internet-based relationship, I'd say: 3 months are QUITE ok before having your first sex when dating ... ;P

Just fucking around aka getting layed doesnt help anybody. A one night stand doesnt help you much if you want to do more excessive, explicit things which you would have develop, depending on how your partner is and how she or he reacts. Kinda nice if you got someone to fuck around then and then, but actually it's pure time-waste whilst you could have done something more useful - like finding your new long time relationship-partner and similar stuff.

Thats MY experience and MY opinion about this,
cu, w0lf.

Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign for a diseased mind!

This post was edited by ginsterbusch on Jun 24, 2005.