Reading Jimi's journal

This is kinda long. Sorry. I'm actually pretty serious today.

Since I am 17 and am currently unemployed, I rely on my parents for necessities like clothing and food. My mom had offered (a few months ago) to purchase some shirts I want off the internet. I've asked her several times about it and her response every time was "wait until payday." I asked her again this morning and she gave me the same response.

But whether you take money out of your account right after cashing a paycheck or you wait until two weeks later, you're still spending the same amount of money. So you're going to lose the 20 bucks regardless of when you spend it. But she claims that she gauges the money we spend and that "if I want to go hungry, we can buy what I want right now."

Yet, these past two weeks, my parents have gone to McDonalds and other fast food places at least 5 times, rented 4 movies, sent my brother to swimming lessons for 50 bucks a week, gone to several [nice] restaurants, bought candy for my siblings at the gas station and let me go to a couple movies. So basically, they've spent about 200 bucks on recreational stuff alone. I know it's not just for them; my brother, sister and I are included... But if money was really so tight, why don't we manage our lifestyle like it is? I'm willing to sacrifice a trip to the movies for the clothes I want to wear.

Frankly, we're spoiled. My parents' raised us in the ghetto of Memphis with only my father's average/below average income to support us and we still managed to get spoiled. Then they have the nerve to complain about not having enough money. Even when I was working, they'd borrow my money whenever I cashed a paycheck, saying, "Don't worry, we'll pay you back." True, they did pay me back, but just to borrow it again a few days later.

I've gotten to the point where I'm so disgusted by their spending habits that I refuse to eat when we go to the mall or such places... It just makes me feel so guilty. And I'd rather starve than tolerate my parents' terrible spending habits.

Check out the shirts I want. :)

Martin Luther King
Soundgarden: Superunknown (Really rare since the band has been broken up for 8 years)
Tool: Diagram

Breathe.

This post was edited by Jimi on Jun 24, 2005.

I agree with you that your parents seem to spend alot on going to fast food places to eat, and from your perspective they shouldn't.
They should have kept their word and bought you the shirts they said they would.
This works two ways here.
You said your dad works hard. I know from experience that there are many many times after putting in a long exausting day a person just wants someone else to do it for them.

And it's so easy to just get in the car and go to mc donalds or burger king or what ever else is handy.

You said you were unemployed right now. How about this, get another job and make arrangements for direct deposit into an account that only you can touch.

Then see if you can find similar shirts where you live rather than on the internet.

This will serve two purposes. First the money goes right into the bank. Not so easy to spend when it isn't in your hands.
It's an awesome practice to get into.

Second, finding shirts locally will save you money because you don't have to pay for shipping and handling.

Here's something you can do that may help work out this problem of the need for impulse buying on your parents part.
Offer to make a few dinners a week.
I'm sure that part of the reason for going to fast food places besides having someone else to cook the food is that it serves to create time when all of you can be in one place together.

This is something else you can try, and depending on how much you can really talk to your parents and how willing they are to just listen, you can ask them if a family budget can be made and put up on the wall, with goals, such as going on vacation, or everyone getting something special, etc. And then everyone working together to achieve the goal.

Makes for a great time of growing and learning how to support each other.

But it takes work. And some change in habbits. And believe it or not just changing a few things will make some big differences in how much money is left after the bills.

If they won't listen, then this is what I would suggest doing, get a job and deposit all of it into an account so there is nothing to borrow, as in no cash on hand.
If they ask, tell them your saving for college, or a car, or those shirts you have wanted for a while.

just a few suggestions.

I really appreciate all of that... There are some other things I failed to mention because I felt like the post was long enough, though...

My father is diabetic. My brother has epilepsy and manic depressive disorder. My sister is handicapped and, even though she's 6, can't talk or walk. Because of all this, my mother is on depressant medication. The fact is that I'm the only self-dependent member of my family (excluding the fact that I can't support myself financially).

Now, despite the fact that my mother deals with all of this every single day, she would catch on to me trying to lighten her load... And she's too proud for that. She'd make me stop. It's the same way with my father... But don't get me wrong, I still help around a lot. But I understand why my mom spends like she does because she wants to give us the experiences that she couldn't have as a child... And she feels like that's all she has to offer.

Breathe.

Well, Jimi, I really hate to hear about all of that going on with your family. If you're ever hungry and too guilty to spend your mom's money, you can always come over and I'll make you some ramen noodles. :)

Anyway, aside from all of that, I'm sorry for eating all of your food. I'll try and stop doing that. And another thing, I really can empathize with what's going on with you, if not to such a degree. You know what all that is about. But anyway, I'm really sorry for everything you're going through right now, and if you ever need me, I'm about 10 minutes away.

xo Connie ox

"Wishing on a star that's already burned out..."

This post was edited by Articulate_AzN on Jun 25, 2005.

Oh, Connie... I'm not going through a hard time at all. I just like consistency, you know that. That's something my parents disagree about sometimes... But you're always welcome at my house for anything (including food). Besides, I don't think I want much ramen anymore, after you told me that story about the rats... x_x

Breathe.

Haha, well, no matter how bad for you ramen noodles are, occasionally can't hurt too badly. Anyway, I'm glad to hear of my eternal welcome at your place. I know you like consistency, and I apologize for disrupting your balance everytime I come over. ;)

Anyhow, I admire the fact that you can stay so... composed as all this is going on around you. You know that I could never do that.

xo Connie ox

"Wishing on a star that's already burned out..."