Reading Poetry

Sitting there in the darkend halls
slowly roaming through the parrils
all the dredful sin and hate
feeling around the unknown
never knowing where or what
i am for ever lost in my own immagination

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losing your grip on reality
ppl screaming ppl hating crying hurting
slowly slipping into insanity
you feel all this loathing around
having this hatred built up inside
ppl you held dear
they all lost there grip
it now seems soo tempting to give in
but you hold your head up high
hidding hate which burns inside
knowing that its just a matter of time til you lose total control
so u lock yourself inside
breaking down letting your emotions rule you
crying and hating
so you finally let go
the last feeling of sanity has slipped through
your no longer you

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i see her and my mind freezes
i cant but help to wonder what itd be like to be with her
her smile seems to lighten the burden on my back
her laugh is like an angel's chours
i cant help but to get lost in those eyes
yet i sit here too afraid to get close
afraid of rejection

While I can see artisticness in many things, your work may benefit from writing your words out in english. 'ppl' is simply not poetic.

I should be ashamed of myself.

Yeah sure i could write it out and i could use capitalization as well but im onli 15 and im used to tlking on IM and am used to using short hand like tht

And I can understand that. But the point is, this is an elitest writing forum. We are here to share stories, work, and otherwise opinions and knowledge. One of the main rules here, and ones you agreed to by signing up here is to not write like a wanker.

I should be ashamed of myself.

but im onli 15 and im used to tlking on IM and am used to using short hand like tht

And we are used to people who respect our Posting Rules, as Aynjell has stated so nicely.

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

Ok ok lo siento...I didn't that you people were soo up tight about all that. I'll work on it but you don't need to get in my face about it by calling me a "wanker." Just structure your critisizm in a more, how do you say, adult like manner.

I'll work on it but you don't need to get in my face about it by calling me a "wanker." Just structure your critisizm in a more, how do you say, adult like manner.

I don't think Aynjell called you a wanker. He was merely referring to an article called How to Write Like A Wanker.
And well, yes we're uptight about grammar, because this place isn't your average teenie chat channel - that's also why you're required to check the option I have read and understood the Posting Rules for every post you write. That checkbox isn't there just for fun, you know.

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.