Reading NiQuE's journal

As I reflect on events in my life, past and present, I wonder why I bother to care about certain things at all.

Why should I care about things that I cannot possibly control?

I wrote a post recently about the attacks in London. I wondered why I even took the time to rant about something that I could not possibly ever change. I felt myself reach a point of unnecessary rage while getting absolutely no answers or closure.

I am disgusted with the fact that I became so angry when the the truth is: There is nothing you can do now or ever.

I will no longer include myself in any conversations regarding current events, politics, religion, or any other controversial topic on NAO or in everyday life. I will not involve myself in pointless conversations that run around in circles about what different people consider to be right or wrong.

I simply will not involve myself in any topic that seems to never, and probably will never have any resolution or closure.

Im going to lay on the beach, close my eyes, enjoy my life, and deal with whatever comes my way.

Of all the things that I have lost in my life, it's my mind that I miss the most.

Why should I care about things that I cannot possibly control?

Things you cannot control, say the attacks, they just happen and we cannot help but care. Talking helps to work it all up so yes, there's a point in doing it.

It's not like these things will cease to happen if we decided to stop caring.

'Yeah, That's what Jesus would do. Jesus would bomb Afghanistan. Yeah.' - snowlion

It's not like these things will cease to happen if we decided to stop caring.

Of course these things will never stop happening. That is precisely why I refuse to stress myself out about them (I shouldn't have said that I would stop caring, that is not what I meant).

I was not only referring to the terrorist attacks, but even simple day-to-day conversations or issues that may arise, possibly with a co-worker or friend etc... That doesn't mean I won't stand up for myself, but it also means that I will not be bothered to actually argue about something or someone's opinion that I can't very well change. I would rather spend my energy elsewhere.

I refuse to spend a portion of my life arguing with people about what I may think is right or wrong or vice versa... I just don't see a point in it.

Really, isn't that what has seemed to fuel all types of wars and conflicts in the past and present? A difference in opinion and/or view?

Of all the things that I have lost in my life, it's my mind that I miss the most.

I will not be bothered to actually argue about something or someone's opinion that I can't very well change.

I'm right there with you. Although it can often be rewarding to test and refine your opinions against other people (sort of like bouncing a tennis ball against the wall), I couldn't care less about convincing others. Basically I have stopped talking about topics where people are known to be asshats, like politics.

What the fuck happens to people when they talk about politics anyway? You're sitting at a table with five of your best friends, the topic changes to politics and everyone immediately mutates into a borderline extremist asshole.

Day-to-day disagreements... I agree you have to pick your battles. Fully discussing everything just for the sake of holding up your flag doesn't matter in any way.

'Yeah, That's what Jesus would do. Jesus would bomb Afghanistan. Yeah.' - snowlion

Your right about not being able to change what happens when a group of people so political motivated do stupid things in the name of what ever...

But to ignore and take on the attitude of choosing ignorance makes you part of the same mentality that ends up generating the same thing happening over and over again.

That doesn't mean you have to stress to the point of being sick.
And you shouldn't. Something that happens a world away is something you can do nothing about.
As long as there are people on this planet there will be wars, terrorism, and all kinds of bad shit that happens.
Babies being born and dumped in dumpsters by girls who are either too selfish to know what a sense of honor and responsiblity are, or too scared to be honest about bad choices.
Pharmacuticle companies who are more concerned about funding and keeping the chemical companies happy than actually working tord cures for things instead of band-aids that create more problems in side effects.
Doctors who live in huge fancy houses and don't really give a shit deep down about the patients they took an oath to not harm and never really care about whether that patient gets well or not because they only thing they really care about is the money.
Lawyers who are vultures. Men and women who go into court every day supposedly suppose to be honoring the law and doing the best to present the law and work tord seeing justice done and in reality all they care about is money.

And the list goes on...
in every segment of life as we know it on the planet...in ever industry, in ever group whether political or not, there is shit that shouldn't go on but does.

You can choose to pretend that nothing that dosen't show up at your door isn't your concern so your going to say fuck it to the whole thing, or you can use your anger in a positive way by living a life that you would love to see on a world scale.
Change takes place one person at a time.
And at the same time, the growth of the kinds of bad shit we are seeing takes place one person at a time every time someone takes on the attitude of wanting to shut it all out.

The choice is personal and no one can make it for you.
I do know this, that before WWll the powers that be thought that putting Hitler into the position of chanclor would shut him up. They didn't want to hear what was comming out of his mouth, they didn't want to deal with it.
They had the same kind of attitude you've decited to take only on a different scale, and look at the end result.

So before you go off, and let your frustration be the thing that keeps you from going blind, think about taking your anger and using it in a positive fashion...
just a thought...

It only looks that way because your standing on your head.

The choice is personal and no one can make it for you.
I do know this, that before WWll the powers that be thought that putting Hitler into the position of chanclor would shut him up. They didn't want to hear what was comming out of his mouth, they didn't want to deal with it.
They had the same kind of attitude you've decited to take only on a different scale, and look at the end result.

I do take abit of offence to being compared to Hitler...

Ignorance is a very harsh word to describe the way I am feeling. I do not think I am being ignorant. It is not like I want to bury myself in a small dark hole and hide away from what goes on around me.

I only said that I wasn't going to stress about things.

I do care about these things and of course I wish for things to change. I am just changing the way I react by trying to make a difference where I can. This includes being kind to people everyday and treating people the way I would like to be treated (just like you said, one person at a time).

Like I said, I refuse to argue. What good does that do?

Of all the things that I have lost in my life, it's my mind that I miss the most.

This post was edited by NiQuE on Jul 11, 2005.

I'm sorry that you took what I said the way you did.
Your first post in this line seemed to carry with it the attitude that so many have resigned themselves to when they either feel completely helpless to do anything, or are just tired of the crap and decide to vacate and let someone else deal with things.

I agree with how you feel about not arguing politics. I feel the same way. That's what meet the press and those kinds of round tables are for.
They don't solve anything, don't fix anything, don't change anything.
They do two things only: Pay a few people a really outragous salary for arguing politics and take up air time on T.V.
I don't argue religion for the exact same reason and why I won't argue politics.
It takes up too much of my time, and people end up not listening.
What I have done and continue to do is do my best to live my life in a manner that is geared tord making a change where ever I go.
Nothing speaks louder than the life a person lives day to day.

So again my appoligies for the misunderstanding. I was simply responding to your first post and what how it came across.

It only looks that way because your standing on your head.

I think what harold_maude was saying boils down to this quote: Bad things happen when good men do nothing.

Conversely, speaking from personal experience, it is incredibly draining to try to take on the world. And yet, there are times when exactly one person does make a difference. It just really comes down to what Jaz said. Picking your battles. It kinda sounds like that is what NiQue is doing. She doesn't want to spend her energy having conversations online about topics that just get sticky. I feel her on that. I don't like the way some conversations deteriorate to where almost everyone is being an asshole, nor feeling that my time was wasted, and nothing good comes of it.

I would suspect that most thoughtful people, after lying upon the beach for a while, and getting some much needed breathing space, would find the room to decide if they could swing getting involved in things that they either personally deem, or someone else credibly deems can be of help to others, to the planet, or to the cosmos. It's a personal choice.

On the one hand the viewpoint coming from frustration at the apparent futility of certain discussions, and on the other hand the viewpoint coming from wondering why more people don't get involved when we have history to point to what happens when people get overwhelmed and shut off are both extremely and equally valid ways of approaching life.

Written and verbal discussions may not be the path for everyone to change the world, and conversely, grassroots efforts and hands-on change may not be the path for everyone either. Each person will hopefully choose what best suits their nature.

Hopefully, in so doing, some sort of change for the good can be effected either directly or indirectly. Sometimes you don't even know how your efforts change things. Things just change.

It's funny for me that, in the midst of responding to this discussion and clarification of ideals, I received a phone call from someone who had greatly irritated me, nay, pissed me the fuck off, and caused a great amount of distrust on my part yesterday. After unleashing an albeit, humorous diatribe against his activities in my journal I was ready to tell him to cease and desist, and to expect retaliation if he pursued the invasion of my personal space further. However, I was in the middle of writing the third paragraph of this response at the time, due to the inability to sleep. I had just finished with stating that people often need breathing space to process their next move, and that is what I told him.

So, effectively, the very nature of this discussion here, effected change in my life, and therefore his. He was able to admit that his motives had not been pure. It took 20 minutes for him to do so, and he initially denied the truth, but by the time he had admitted the truth, I was able to admit that I have a very great tendency not to trust other people, and not to trust my ability to effectively stand up for myself when they are out of line. He was out of line. Very much so. But partly as a result of reading and responding to this thread, I was able to handle this situation MUCH differently than I have handled other similar ones.

In the past, I have been like a momma tiger defending her babies and turf, disproportionate to the offense most often. Tomorrow may bring other issues, other challenges, but for today - this thread has oddly and inadvertently effected great change in my life. So NiQue, in stating your truth so clearly and politely, you inadvertently inspired me to do the same. I did not lash out at him directly, he actually listened to me, and my voice was heard. I expect I will stumble again and again before it becomes a new way of defending myself, but today you made a difference in potentially two people's lives already. For what it's worth, Thanks.

If mountain goats like living at high elevations, why do none live in high rise apartment buildings?

..Seems even disgussing not disgussing the problems of taking sides in arguments that end up being pointless exercises because nothing is solved can be in themselves an exausting exercise.

*Smiles* i have to smile at all of us who come here to disguss many things, to speak our minds, our views...We remind me of the ancient greeks who were phillosiphers sorting out the threads of the universe they could see...
People of broad minds wanting to answer what ever questions they could come up with...

That was just a side view of all of this...It has nothing to do with anything, just a few steps taken back to look at the big picture. And there is nothing wrong with looking at the big picture.

It only looks that way because your standing on your head.