Reading NiQuE's journal

I honestly have no idea what happened to me a month ago. It could have been a conversation that I had with a friend that opened my eyes, I am not exactly sure. But all I know is that I have become someone who actually follows through with the things that I say...

I can recall many times in the past where I have said that I would accomplish this and that, but I would somehow always seem to get side tracked. I would just completely lose interest in any kind of goal that I had set out for myself.

For example:

I have been talking about getting in shape for the past 4 years. I would start to work out... Then I would just quit. Subliminally. I wouldn't say: I quit! I would just stop and fall back into my old, lazy ways.

How pathetic.

The conversation that I had with a friend the other day, or rather, an argument that I had, made something in me spark and caused something else to burn out completely... She lashed out at me and told me that I never do anything for myself, and that if I had planned to, the thought of it just disappeared along the way. She explained to me that I have too much potential to waste and that I had to do something with my life. Even if that something was as small, or uncomplicated as working out for an hour everyday.

At the time I didn't exactly jump up and say: You are right! No... I didn't say anything. Infact, I don't recall even thinking about what she said. I just changed, and I know that I have for good.

The next day my friend and I started to work out and we have been doing this 5 days a week for the past month. I am not a lanky, skinny chick anymore. I have gradually transformed myself into someone who looks and feels great. My outlook has completely changed and I am so much more happy.

I know that this time, it is for real.

This change is something that I can feel in my mind. I feel differently about life. I feel differently about my body, my relationships, my job, and my future. I do not feel like I am the same person I was over one month ago.

I have quit smoking everything. It didn't even phase me to stop, and it wasn't even hard. This might seem strange, and I don't even know if this is how I did it, but I must have just subconciously decided that it wasn't for me.

Seriously, I don't know how any of this happened.

I am going back to school this September. I am getting my degree.

Of all the things that I have lost in my life, it's my mind that I miss the most.

Right on and good luck =)

I did the same thing with working out for a long time. But the friends I've made my first year of college are more active, and it began to rub off on me. Then I took Tae Kwan Do as a PE course. Now I'm working out a little everday and taking an Aikido class of my own volition. I think it helps to get into a routine.

Whether I'll show the same improvement in my school work... we'll have to see when I get back. Hope you can stick with things!

"Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think."