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Reading Stoic_Slaughter's journal

I'm amazed at how I can't save myself from inner torment over things that are irrelevant to genetics or chemicals. I must admit that I always have an inner fear of losing the things that keep me alive, and it's physical and terrible and nothing can assuage it. It's a tremendous, perpetual tension in my chest... but how far have I stumbled from the blatant, bleak truth that my physical form can exist as long as its physical needs are met? My mind is resilient and when I am thrown into the worst situations imaginable, I always come out all right, but the fear comes from acknowledgement of the constants in my view. Those constants are the things that help me, aren't they? Without them, I would be lost completely because I would have no point of reference. All of this comes from the questions that have been permeating my thought process. "Can you make it without this person? Are you strong enough on your own? What would happen if this person died? It's possible... it's PROBABLE. What would you be then? What would you do?" That is why I am afraid. I don't know if I could stand alone. People see me as being strong, but they don't see the supports that keep me up.

For my next trick, I shall make you all disappear.

I suspect that a vast majority of humans feel exactly the same way as you do.

Let me ask you some questions. If everything around you were to fail would you be any different?
Would you stop liking the things you do?
Would the color of your eyes change or the color of your hair?
Would you stop breathing?
Would the daylight stop comming?

Basic simple things. If the bottom drops out...that was my question that finally hit me in the face. It killed the fear that used to steal everything from sleep to even being able to enjoy the day.
For every loss, or every closed door, there is something else.
Nature hates a vacume.
Sometimes the only way to go forward is for somethings to fail.
If they didn't, the stuff that could help you realize who you are might never come along.
And what's the very worse that can happen? You find yourself in a new place with loads of possiblities for growth, and lots and lots of chances to see what your made of, not for anyone elses sake but for yours alone.

To quote a line from Dune, "fear is the mind killer"
And it's true. Fear is most often unfounded. Fear in it's propper place keeps us from walking into traffic, laying down on railroad tracks when trains are comming, and keeps us from eating and drinking household cleaning products or putting body parts on the stove while the burners are on. In short, fear in a healthy state helps to keep us safe. It's designed as a safty protochol.
Problems start when fear starts getting activated when there is no real danger.

And I think that comes from having way too much free time due to the ease of living most of us experience now.
Ease of living as in, you can just go to the store and pick up a can of beans, or you can just get in your car and go to a movie or go for a drive because you don't have to think about going out into the woods to get food so you don't starve to death.

A hundred years ago people went fishing and hunting to gather food. They go on vacation now so they can fish and hunt, and alot of times they never eat the things they catch or kill.
A hundred years ago it took a while to make clothes and they had to last.
Now you can just go the mall and pull out a credit card and go nuts spending money you are counting on being there.
A hundred years ago meals took time to make and when people sat down to eat everyone sat together.
Now you can pop something in the microwave and in a minuet or less have dinner and many people eat in front of the boxed babysitter/entertainer.
Conversations are different too, so are work eithics, so are alot of other things.

In our efforts to make life easier by lightening the work load we have disabled ourselves and fear now has become this thing that no longer works like it's suppose to.
I guess you could say that fear got a lot of free time and started going haywire as we got further and further away from living life with purpose.

just a few thoughts.

It only looks that way because your standing on your head.