Reading Stoic_Slaughter's journal

I will never understand the mentality of the majority of teenagers I know. It falls somewhere along the lines of, "I'm bored. I need friends. I need NEW friends. I need more friends! I want to get out of the house... I want to do something... I want to hang out."

What is "hanging out" anyway? Sitting around. It just makes me feel obligated to be entertaining and amusing because no one else is. It's amazing to me how impressionable and fickle the majority of teenagers I know are. Think, people! Yes, you're sixteen years old, but... so am I! Don't "hang out" and waste your life drowning in the disgustingly thick ocean of new and old associates. You're not waving to new people like you think you are; you're drowning. Why not have good, decent conversations about politics and art and beauty? I don't care that you like going to the movies, I don't care that you don't have a boyfriend, I don't care that you think you're fat, and I don't care that you like pizza. If you really can't think enough to tell me something worth hearing, then don't tell me anything. I'd rather read a book and learn something than sit and tolerate, tactfully, your typically idiotic banter. Sitting around and discussing useless, shallow events does not entertain me. I have enough friends and I don't want any more. I don't want to "hang out" with new people and force myself to be charming and acceptable for my own benefit. I don't want to whine about how unfair my life is and how I'll be FRIENDS FOREVER with a few girls I've known for a few months.

It's stupid and I hate it.

For my next trick, I shall make you all disappear.

I am utterly intrigued by this by this post, so please read my questions as simply suestions with no hostility, only curiosity prompting them.

I do love to just simply "hang out" with my closest friends. this may just be a language/nationality thing, but to me hanging out is merely a gathering of people with no purpose in mind other than enjoying each others company. and to me this is a beautiful thing. when hanging out we do discuss a variety of different things. we talk about politics, about what our next fundraiser could be, about the beauty of Caravaggio's work, about the emotional quality of Sigur Ros...

but, we also talk about lighter things. have you never known the joy and freedom of escapisms? to thoughtlessly banter with your friends about last nights episode of Family Guy, or to jokingly argue about your shared pizza order.

to me, while the former of these types of conversations carries more intellectual meaning, they carry the same emotional meaning. i value a person's company greatly. while friendships are still being formed, i pay far more attention to the quality of what people say, as i believe this to be the best indicator of finding out who they are. it's not perfect of course... but then again, nothing is. but once this friendship is formed and i have begun to understand the person's complexities, well, then i am comfortable with having occassions of simply enjoying each others presence regadless of what we are discussing or doing.

I have enough friends and I don't want any more

wow, that's quite a statement. you strike me as an incredibly confident person in saying that... but i am still doubting it. the thought strikes me that, well, if you had enough friends to discuss meaningful issues with, you would not be here posting to the world. and, if you post here by counting these people your friends, then why not simply email those you want to?

i'd hate to think that what i am writing now will be dismissed purely because you dont know me. because i am not part of those you call friends and thus deem to be worthy of your time.

personally, i love to meet new people. i embrace the thought of another beautiful and complex person entering my life. another person to share my joys and sorrows with. i suppose i do have this teenage mentality you speak of.

"I'm bored. I need friends. I need NEW friends. I need more friends! I want to get out of the house... I want to do something... I want to hang out."

that's a rather simplified train of thought as you said but to me, those words simply express a desire to fill an emptiness. and to me, there is nothing wrong with that. how else am i to fill this empty space without trying. i suppose i could try to fill it with possessions, or by filling my life with work in hopes of forgetting the space... but i prefer to be more positive and proactive and try to find someone who can add to my life, and who can add to me.

sorry, i seem to have hijacked your post and run away with it, waving it above my head while i scream into the wind...

~lemon

Well, I'm a lemon. Piss on me and I'll only get stronger.

This post was edited by lemon on Jun 19, 2005.

Friend - a person for whom I would do anything, regardless of their past, present, or future actions; a person whom I love unconditionally and trust with my life.

Acquaintance/associate - a human being who I may or may not enjoy and who may or may not discuss interesting things with me from time to time; a person who cares to know little of me.

Perhaps you missed the purpose of my post. I enjoy associating with my CLOSEST FRIENDS because they are interesting and they do not murder me with useless banter. Occasionally, the topics for discussion are nonchalant, but not all the time. I was referring to, in my post, the brainless people with whom I occasionally associate when our paths cross.

By saying, "I have enough friends and I don't want any more," I was not implying in any way that I could not have more. I was simply expressing that I do not feel an emptiness and I do not need the approval of everyone in the world to be happy. This is in contrast to the brainless people I mentioned previously; they feel the need to constantly be surrounded by people they call "friends." I enjoy people, to be certain, I was merely stating that I see no point in "hanging out" when the topics of conversation are nonexistent or perpetually stupid, so all you do is sit... and look at each other... for hours. Please don't assume by this post that I am an impatient person who refuses to be observant; that is not the case. I am simply saddened and confused by the fact that so many young people refuse to have depth (or refuse to admit that they do), and refuse to think (when they easily could). I know that people are beautiful, complex creatures but I cannot have real connections if they refuse to let me in and keep up the facade of idiocy to maintain the status they have obtained among the rest of their brainless peers.

Post scriptum: I appreciate your post. It was very thoughtful.

For my next trick, I shall make you all disappear.

I know that people are beautiful, complex creatures but I cannot have real connections if they refuse to let me in and keep up the facade of idiocy to maintain the status they have obtained among the rest of their brainless peers.

I know what you mean, Stoic. Even though I don't remember exactly how it feels to be 16 (and god it happened only 6 years ago), I remember I had problems in the relationship with other people, especially with my school mates. I had my good share of friends, mind you... in particular a girl I have known for 17 years, and who is still my best friend. Actually more like a sister now (I am an only child, so considering her a sister... well it is really a big thing to say).

I don't want to brag now, but I have always been a mature girl, surely more mature than the masses (and even now, aside from Neil - my fiance who is only 1 year older than me, I definitely find myself more comfortable with older people. Let's say that I enjoy the company of the ones who are almost 30 :P)
Obviously this nature of mine always made it hard for me to find new friends among those who were still kinda shallow. Their favorite pastime was to hang out doing nothing at all, going to the disco and drinking until they had to throw up.

The last year of high school, when I was 18, somehow I was led into that "inner circle" - woo hoo - I don't even know how, but at a certain point I was invited to all the parties, people would ask me to go out with them and things like that. Now, saying that I always refused that would be a lie. I have gone to some of those parties, but I really felt like I didn't belong to it.

In particular I remember about this party one of the cool guys was throwing for his 18th birthday. We went out to a restaurant (there were only 7 of us) where we had fish and drank champagne (he was and still is very rich - well his family more than himself actually :P). After the party we went to the apartment of another of these guys (he was a friend of mine, I would like his company at least for a little while ;) ). I don't remember much of it. I just know that there was loud music, that they made me dance (and I hate dancing) and that there were like 10 bottles of mixed alcoholic stuff: vodka, gin, rum, batida de coco, beer, champagne...
Let me just add that here in Italy we don't have a law that makes it illegal for people to drink if they are younger than 21. So it was nothing illegal.

There was a very popular cocktail back then. I bet that some like it still now. I don't dislike it. It's called gin-lemon. It is made with lemonade and a little hint of gin. Well those guys were making it completely different: a lot of gin with a hint of lemonade. And they kept mixing things too. I don't know why I trusted them and drank that stuff, but I am thankful that my liver helped out without protesting too much.

My dad came to pick me up at 1 am and drove me home. I didn't have to speak, he knew I was close to be drunk. He never said anything to my mom, even if this thing came up recently and everybody had a good laugh at that. I came home and I remember that I hit the wall close to the door of my room, and when I went to bed I felt like in a washing machine. I didn't throw up. I never do.

All of this makes me think though. Is it really necessary to act in stupid ways in order to bond with other people? I think that real friends should like you for the way you are, and shouldn't force you to become someone else, someone you are not. I have understood this, and fortunately this is not what happened to me. I am still the old self.

A few days ago I met one of those guys on the way to the university. It was kinda sad to see that he hasn't changed at all. He is still the shallow person he was back when he was 18; nothing changed in him, if not his age: now he's 23.
This is to say that not only teenagers act like this, but that it just depends on the people. There are some who are more mature than others, and the family matters a great deal in the behavior and the mentality of kids. My parents never had to give me too many suggestions, because they knew I'd do the right thing. For that I am grateful.

Sometimes I feel like I am a mature woman in the body of a young girl. I don't know if any of you has ever had this feeling... (hey with mature I don't mean like 40 year-old... just a little older and a little more experienced). Sometimes it is hard to be me. But I don't regret being what I am. Recently a girl from university - who is my age but acts very much like a teenager - told me that she is doing now the things she couldn't do when she was 16. I don't understand how one could make such idiot statements, but of course she's free to live her life the way she wants. I don't regret doing crazy things, the things that people expect normally from a teenager. That wouldn't have been me, and I am content with what I am now and with what I was before.

Un bacio è un'apostrofo rosa scritto tra le parole "ti amo".

I tend to agree with your assesment of teenagers.
Actually the same kinds of things go on with alot of people regardless of age.

You are understanding something about where we are in history.
And that's an awesome thing.
Knowing what you know allows you to make choices about how you live your life.
Because you can make choices like that you can be free from all the non sense you witness.
And that is a very good thing.