Reading harold_maude's journal

..To observe the obvious so that you might see more than meets the eye.
Learning to observe and note what you see.

More than the obvious. The details and clues that will open doors that you could not see before.

If you had never seen a sailing ship before and you were out walking on the beach looking for shells and other unique things and you looked up and saw something but thought maybe it was just your immagination, would you just go back to what you were doing and just ignore what you "thought" you saw?

How well do you know yourself? Do you trust yourself? Do you know what your favorite color is?

All of these questions seem so obvious. But if you think about the question and your immeadate answer and then think about the answer and be able to understand why you answer the question the way you do, you will begin to understand the concept of observing the obvious and seeing something more than meets the eye.

There is an addage that goes this way: Know thy self. And still another: Seize the day.

Two very obvious things. But as we study what we understand about them and how we know what they mean, they begin to show us more about who we are, and how we value time, and how we value who we are and the things we are capable of, and our limitations, both physical ones and moral and emotional ones.

Here are some things that each of them extend out to for me...kind of like a band of clouds that start far away and then as we watch they fill more and more of the sky.

As to "know thy self" there is the obvious, that we should know what we will do in any given situation.
Then there is this, know your heart, for it will lead you to where the truth is about who you are.
Then there is this, the knowledge of your preferences carries with it the power to say yes or no, and not feel like you have to jusitify your choice.
Then there is this, what you believe in your heart is what you truely own. There is no possion which can surpass the deepest loves and hates which hold us, and take us to either the greatest heights or deepest depths of the human condition and our place in this world.
Then there is this, our motivations for doing things.
And there is more, but I would like to address the other, seize the day for a bit now.

Seize the day. The obvious thing is to grab hold of the day and live it to the fullest extent.
Then there is this, no time like the present to do what you could put off till tomorrow. (only tomorrow is always over there and you are here and the truth is that when you put off until tomorrow what you can do now is that a person is either terrified because they fear they will fail, or suceed or look like a stupid fool doing what ever)
Then there is this, this may be the only chance you get.
Then there is this, time is short, live. Don't die where you are, but go forward and live.
Then there is this, Each day is a new adventure, and new time, and what you need to fix you get this day to start doing it.
Then there is this, life is like a banquet, and you have a choice, you can starve or be well fed.

Here is another obvious thing that if studied and observed more is how you eat. And yet another, the leaves on a tree, and still another, how you see the world.

So many thoughts tonight about so many things. For a very long time I have been able to see below the surface of people, and it is a normal thing for me, but I haven't met alot of other people who see this way too.
I have thought long and hard about this, and have written many other thoughts on this, and have come to some understanding about it, but I suspect that I won't ever get to see the big picture. Only bits and peices of it.

I've eccepted that this is normal for me. And I don't think it makes me any different from other people.
But I do know that most people really arn't listening to anyone but themselves.
When they hear someone talking, much of the time they are busy thinking about what they are going to say next, only it isn't viewed in the understanding that way. It's just this flow that happens.
And no one is actually listening to anyone else.
So arguments ensue.

I've come to understand that I can't convince anyone of anything.
And that doesn't matter either. The only thing I know that matters is what I'm doing in this world and what I leave behind me.
That's the only thing I have to work with, and the ablity to change in someway.

Not everyone understands why I feel and think the way I do, and why so many things don't get me livid.
To me if something needs to be done, I don't care who jumps in to do it, just as long as it gets done.
And if it's me most of the time, that dosen't matter.
The only thing that matters is that it gets done.

I'm finding there is little or not bitterness that exists when I look at things from this perspective. It's all just hours in a day.
And things go on. And good and bad and happy and sad things happen. And when they do, it's good to be in the moment.
To allow your self the honest experience of emotions.
And to not feel guilty about what you feel. Sometimes it's ok to go crazy with things.
Sometimes you have to find a safe way to express things, especially when your feeling anger to the point when it becomes rage.
But what I've found with this understanding as it grows, is that as you allow yourself to feel your emotions and become an observer to yourself while your in the mist of how intense things are, it becomes easier to direct where things go and what you do. It takes practice with some things, but like everything else new, there is a learning time and a learning curve with every person.

Well, I think I drained out some of the over load in my thoughts, so I'm going to close for the night.

It only looks that way because your standing on your head.