Reading harold_maude's journal

My brain is on fire. The ideas, thoughts and other notions are rushing in so fast that I'm writing like crazy.
9 and 10 pages of just notes.
Again and again.

Then there is the art. I counted and there are 53 in process as I write this.
And more on the way.
I'm making notes on the ones that arn't started and making notes on the ones that are that are giving birth to new work.

Several of the threads are being pulled together and leading me back into the realm of sacred geometry.
There are considerations and questions about the three dimensions we live in and the spaceal relationship time has to thoes three dimesions and what would happen if this plane was designed to only hold three dimensions and the introduction of a fourth dimension would throw things out of balance.
Time would do weird things to the three dimensions.
Simply because this plane was not designed to hold anymore than three dimensions.

Which brings up all the phenomon that exists that defies the rules governing the three dimensions and this plane of existance.
Seeing ghosts, hearing them, seeing ufo's. The phenomon of near death experiences.
Black holes in space. I'm beginning to think maybe black holes are the first events that are signaling the collapse of this plane of existance.

I watched cube 2 last night. Kick ass movie. A head bender.
There is a part where this razor cube apears. But it starts out as a square and then begins to grow. Taking on the progression that exists in sacred geometry.
When it got to a certian size it started moving around the room and ran into walls.
One guy got hit by it and it's path of measuring the space it had to grow in and he got chewed up.
Anyway, it kept growing until it reached the the capacity of the room and then the process reversed until the cube disapeared.

The concept was huge and very explainitory as to the possiblities of planes of existance and the space given them to reach their full potential and when it happens, the process reverses until it disapears.
My guess at this point is that when each plane of existance has reached it's full potental growth limit and it reverses and disapears where it goes is back into the void that exists between each plane.

Now being that there are 7 platonic solids ( I think it's 7, it maybe six, I'll have to check) that make up all matter that we know that exists, maybe we are just moving through each one. And each one relating to each platonic solid has rules that govern the life that exists on that plane.
In this plane, three being the dimensions we know and exist in, the same laws state that all life has 4 base pairs to exist.
In the plane that holds the cube as it's bases, maybe all life will consist of more base pairs.
I'm thinking it would, due to the fact that in a 4 dimension existance our bodies would have different requirements to exist there.
Time would be different as well, due to the nature of dealing and interacting with four dimensions instead of three.

Think of the possiblities of a 4 dimensional universeal plane.
What would the stars look like, what would humans look like?
What would people eat, or would they eat at all, maybe they would just stand there and absorb nutreients through gills or somthing.

Maybe our eyes would resemble that of inscets, being mulit factited seeing many surfaces at once.
But because that was the design it would seem completely normal.
People with our eyes might be seen as a freak of nature...

Then this thought occured to me, maybe this whole thing, all existance in every frame of reference that could ever be considered is just one big journey back to where it started.
The center of all things.
Maybe the whole point is for us to experience the universe one dimension at a time.
Maybe somepeople get bits of the next plane of existance now and they think amazing things, and are here as instructors for the rest of us...people like steven hawlkings, carl sagan, albert enstine, lenardo da vinci, and many many others.

People hear and see what they put out there and ponder and think and do based on what these people have said and shown the rest of us.

Maybe in the end that's what it's all about...
maybe.

I have read all three of your recent journal posts, and I must confess, that my first thought was: mania. And then I realized that that thought has been conditioned into my brain, by the overwhelming typification of such experiences by the medical profession as 'mania'. Whatever they want to call it, I've had it, you've had it, other people have had it...and I don't necessarily think it has to progress to insanity.

As a matter of fact, I believe that it is only the fear of the process that causes it to escalate to the point that it overwhelms you so much that even you can't understand yourself, let alone anyone else (meaning: they can't understand you, and you can't understand their ignorance). It kind of reminds me of a bad trip on 'shrooms. You know how if you fight the process, and get freaked out, things turn really wierd? Or if you can't let yourself enjoy it, you start freaking out? Well, yes, it is strange to see animals and insects larger than life, and to see huge white auras around plants and people, so blinding you need sunglasses, everywhere you look. But if you can relax and breathe into it, and see it as a metaphor for what goes on in our heads without our knowledge most of the time...then it becomes peaceful, beautiful, and less menacing.

Your art is what gets the benefit of all of these meanderings. Some people make art because they want to be artists, others, like you, make it because you need to...because it smoothes everything out, collates it like a filing cabinet, and gives it meaning. Anyway, I am not in your shoes...so this is all just my personal speculation. But I have one other thing to add. Of course, you know, without a doubt, that I am going to suggest a book. Heh.

Florinda Donner's Being-In-Dreaming:An Initiation into the Sorcerer's World. She is a colleague of dream-traveler Carlos Castaneda, and the book delineates her training as a woman sorcerer in don Juan Matus' world. This isn't fiction.

But if your mind wants some easy fiction, sort of on the same subject, try The Wishing Box, by Dashka Slater. The characters think constantly, and it is a bit of magical realism, as well. Something that feeds your soul at its frenetic pace in a more expansive way than movies like 'The Cube'. That shit would mess me up. Incidentally, I think that my favorite literary genre of Magical Realism (which technically originated in South America with writers such as Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Jose Donoso...), began out of the Shamanic tradition that is STILL so overwhelmingly revered in parts of South America, even in modern times. Technically, this life is a dream. And we are in it. And while we are in it, the things we dream might as well be real. They certainly feel that way.

I suspect that the fear of death that I have, and so many in our Western culture have, is because we either don't realize, or can't comprehend how death is the true awakening...out of the dream. Some people don't want to wake up, so they come back into the dream. If you start seeing rifts in the dream, and your waking and sleeping consciousness start blending, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are going crazy. That kind of stuff can make you crazy, especially if you let a doctor convince you that you are...but, if you realize that nothing at it's core is really real, except for the consciousness, which is, then you can be at peace. This is what I tell myself all of the time.

I feel as if I am oversimplifying things. It's not that simple, and I don't know why I am trying to tell you these things, when you already know them. You do. It's there in your head.

I suspect that if people like Steven Hawking and Einstein didn't have a firm scientific grounding, with the language of physics and math, which is what our current world understands, to back them up...they'd have been labeled as insane. Intuitive grasping of how the universe works, without the grounding in science and math (and sometimes even with it...) can make one appear as nutty as a March hare. Still, I bet if you read Florinda Donner's book, you'd feel right at home. I know I am glad you put up these posts, because now I am going back to bed to read my copy of Being In Dreaming. Five years ago, I read bits and portions of it...but never in its entirety. My gut tells me that it will be most helpful to both you and I.

You sound like you are just going through the process of becoming an Indian shaman. Some people won't understand this, but there are a lot who will. Surround yourself with those. The others that find themselves more drawn to a fear-based idea of life that excludes experiences like yours, are not bad per se, they just aren't going to be much help to you on your path. You need people around who are supportive of your process, and you really need to find a mentor, another shaman who can help you. You have a special gift that many people do not have...enjoy it. And hopefully you can use it to help others who don't have your gift yet.

My mind is made up...not like my bed, which is a mess.

You are wonderful my friend. You have no idea what your post means in this long journey.

I'm going to send an e-mail to explain so you can see and know how precious what you've said is.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. :)

*digs toe into ground and says: "Who me?"*

My mind is made up...not like my bed, which is a mess.

Um...Wendy...after reading Florinda Donner's Being-In-Dreaming, you might want to read Amy Wallace's Sorcerer's Apprentice: My life with Carlos Castaneda. There are other books by other people about their experiences with this odd, but unique group of people. Unfortunately, there seems to be potentially many other truths behind the myth.

I'm thinking I should rephrase something I said earlier...if you find a mentor, don't give up your power. You have as close a connection to the energy of the world as anybody else. Take whatever you learn, and temper it with your own wisdom. I know you are already doing this...because I have received bits and pieces of wisdom from you. But I don't put you on a 'pedestal', like I have some people in my past. You are a "fellow-traveler", and as such, it works out great. I was careless to suggest finding a mentor, without qualifying that with the statement that you should never give up your own power to another human; and cautiously, if at all, to anything else...

Just looking at Amy Wallace's book, flipping the pages...I don't know what to say, except that I am glad that the name 'Michael Korda' popped into my head from my memory, as well as having heard Castaneda mentioned within a certain person's company. I was curious about them, and recently I became curious about Castaneda...now I wonder. Was his life a script that someone else took and tried to rewrite? Is what Amy has to say all true? Because if it is, it's blowing my mind.

The parallels I think I see between her life with Castaneda and mine..., are quite astonishing to say the least. Or maybe not.

But more than that, I am slowly coming to the conclusion, that the only person I personally, really need to find the truth within me....is, well, me. And the easiest way I could think of to do that, would be to be aware of everyone else around me. And everything around me. The path out seems to be the path in. I wish you well on your journey...this adds a new twist to mine.

My mind is made up...not like my bed, which is a mess.

This post was edited by rosyxxx on Sep 26, 2005.