Reading baexcell's journal

Hey everyone,

I am coming to you guys for help with something. On Thursday Oct. 6, my girlfriend's grandfather died in the hospital due to complications of long-standing medical conditions. The problems of this are multiplied by the fact that I have spent the last year being one of his primary caregivers and thus I am grieving as much as everyone else. But, this is not where I need the help. I will grieve when my need to help the others has passed.

My dilemma is this, we are going to hold two memorial services for him. One, a Catholic funeral will be held here in Longview where we now live. The second will be held in Ocean Park, where he and his wife lived for the last 9 years and have many friends who will be unable to make it for the funeral. This second service is just going to be a memorial type thing. The problem being that I have agreed to officiate this service and have no idea what to say.

For those of you wondering why I was chose for this, it is because the family feels that it should be done by a minister and I just so happen to be one.

All I need is some ideas so I am not so crazy.

Sorry for the ramble.

Reverend B. Excell

Hello,

Well, if you had to normally officiate a memorial service...I'm assuming you've done it before can you not juts think back to that situation nad know what is appropriate.

I wouldn't know the first thing to say, whenever we are at church I sometimes get asked to do intersessions and I always feel really bad because I should really play my part, but I'm actually useless at that sort of thing. Which isn't very useful for you! I'am sure it is very hard as you are also grieving!

I could state the obvoius and just say be honest and respectful. I think you will be fine dont think on it too much the people that willbe listening arn't there to judge you they are there to say good-bye! Let me know how you get on!

xxx

I almost had you

It's a funny thing about death, we here in this country have a hard time talking about death.
We feel uncomfortable at funreals as we arn't sure what to say...
and now you find yourself in the possition of having to say something to alot of people about this person you spent the last year of his life helping to take care of.

You got to spend a year with the man. You got to see the very private side of his soul, something that is a gift, unfortunately it usually only is shown when death is hanging over head.
Not only were you a caregiver, but you got to give him part of who you are, and that's important too.

I know what ever you say may sound trival in light of the weight of grief.
But if you think about it, you got to see him, not at his best, but at his most honest time in life.
Of all the things you and he talked about was there anything that changed you in how you see what life and living is about?
If you can find that one thing, it would be a good thing to share with those who are still here.

I hope maybe this will help.