Reading Douche's journal

If this is the beginning of something beautiful then does it mean there is an end too? Surely with beginning there is an end, everything that begins must end somewhere, good or bad I guess. I suppose the reason for it ending good or bad must be the same reason why it ended! I mean if it ended because it was best for it to end which is a good thing then it ending is good. But if it ends because of mistakes then the bad reason it ends is becuase of the mistake!

But maybe it will not be ending in the time that I will have to experience it. Prehaps somethings are everlasting and they are everlasting because after you die you miss out on the ending. Maybe the state that you die will be the state that you feel in your afterlife (whatever that is!)and the feelings you feel will remain...just as the people that feel for you after you die will also not change. But I feel this unlikely feelings do change as life goes on and it depends on the emotions.

I'm afraid that it will end within the time I will experience it and if this is the case then prehaps I should get out before I get hurt because I know that everyday it gets so much better. In fact I didnt realise that even after you know your in love the feelings gets stronger and stronger and stronger as the days, hours and minutes pass by. However this would be silly to get rid of the only thing I love. Hurting the only person I care for and hurting myself in doing so. It would also be silly because you cant just run away from things becuase they might end for what ever reason. You have to live in now and expect the future not escape it!

Like I have said in other posts our relationship seems perfect, so much trust and love...no arguements, which isnt a bad or good thing. We are complete with each other, and I cant imagine life without him there. I was lying in bed with him the other morning watching him sleeping, and I thought to myself that life doesnt get must sweeter then this and I want this life for ever! Can anyone realise what this means? I didnt even know if I realised what I was thinking. I'm just afraid of what may happen, where it may end and who or what ends it. Yet I am completely prepared to take on these fears for everything we have shared and will share. Nobody can end something because of a fear like this because we wouldn't get anywhere and the show must go on.

"Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows, only time? " Enya

I almost had you