Reading baffled's journal

Everyday I feel this sort of pain inside of me. It's not a physical pain but an emotional one. I don't know why it's there. I feel like crying and some days I feel like dying. My life is ok. I've got loving parents, friends that think the world of me but the pain remains. Sometimes it disappears but only for a little while. It always returns. I look at my life and I think there isn't much wrong with it. Things seemed to be going where I want it to be. But I'm still not satisfied. There is a part of me that longs for something. And I dont know what. It bewilders me to see how others can be happy. If I don't feel like destroying myself and everything around me I don't feel at all. Maybe I need some sort of drug; Prozac, cocaine or cannabis. I've exhausted alcohol. To me, Life is either boring or painful. I'm not living but merely waiting.

This post was edited by baffled on Nov 13, 2005.

That my friend is the eternal question about life. Why? We are all going through this. The people that look happy are just better at hiding their pain. I wouldn't get too wrapped up in it. Live, have fun and when your happy enjoy it, when your not try to work your way back to the top.

Thanks for the reply majic, it's much appreciated.
I thinks weeks of partying and drinking made me some what emotional. I feel much better these days without such an influence on me. Your input helped considerably.

Oh to know the mysteries that drive the emotional states of humans.
Searching is a human trait. So is discontent.
Soul searching has driven many people to try many things to understand who they are.

Life unfolds, you make choices. The results come in, and then you wish you could change your mind, after the fact.

In life there are often more questions as to why then there are answers. You can drive yourself nuts trying to figure everything out so you can put it in neat little boxes.

My offering to help is this, why not apply creative energy to thoes crazy sideways moments, and see what comes of it.
You may surprise yourself, and find out a few things along the way.
It's alot better than parting like there is no tomorrow everyday. That only gets really expensive and leaves you with alot of hangovers.

Just a thought.

It only looks that way because your standing on your head.