Reading majic's journal

Have you felt withdrawn from the world? I have. Do you sometimes feel as though you are not important? Does the world sometimes overwhelm you? Does your mind keep you from doing things you want to do?

I went outside today,
a venture seldom tried,
my insides were crying --
as if by suicide,

the sky a vivid hue,
the clouds just the same,
the emotions poured from within --
my mind was to blame...

I can walk outside to the world that exists around me, I can see it for all it's worth only if my mind will let me. I am my only limitation and sometimes I am damned to my limitations!

Keep writing.
Don't stop.

Emily is an awesome guide for you. And you are an apt student of hers.
I have a feeling that she is watching and smiling, and urging you on as well.
:)

This post was edited by harold_maude on Oct 31, 2005.

That place, that prison of self imposed limitations is a painfilled place.

Yes it is because I want to connect with people on multiple levels but have this problem with allowing myself to relax. I live in a crazy paranoia sometimes that causes me to lock up and resist the love and warmth that is all around.

I am better now than ever before but have a long road to go!

I understand that place.

Trusting is a hard thing, especially when it keeps getting broken.

Seems to me once I get that initial breaking of the ice then I'm fine. It's leaping over that wall that kicks my ass!

I am one,
and one anew,
I can trust,
but can you?

the shape of me,
is unique,
created by,
an emotional,
geometric,
paraclete

Exactly.

That wall is pretty high sometimes. And sometimes you only get up the wall so far before you come sliding back down completely beat up.

But most of the time you spend on the ground looking for the ladder.

Yep. :) And then trying to decide if you want to get up there again.