Reading harold_maude's journal

Nov 09, 2005 01:44 # 40306

harold_maude *** posts about...

States of human emotion

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I was thinking about emotions this afternoon and it occured to me that wandering around in this
place was maybe a good thing to do.

Since emotions often keep us from things, or help push us tord them, that the exploration
here would be good.

In the movie dune there is a line that says this "Fear is the mind killer."
I love that line because it's the truth.
Fear destroys things, and holds people captive to things that end up controlling them.
Phobias are a great examle of that.
So are obsessive compulsive behaviors.
Both of which I have experienced.

The obsessive compulsive behavior was in place due to the load of anger that was deep inside.
I couldn't deal with my anger, because I was afraid of what would happen if I let it out.
I don't think it's all that uncommon for people to feel like that.

Life is full of things that happen that make us angry for one reason or another and rather
than dealing with it when it happens we burry it and try to act like everything is just fine.
But it's there. All the time. Building and building until it shows up in some strange behavior
that we can't figure out why it's there.
Or we get sick.
Or can't sleep, or a hundred other things that happen when we don't face and deal with the deepest
of emotions inside us.

If we have a problem with the feeling that if we can't control our world, the end result of that feeling
might end up showing up as anexoria or self injury.
It's easy to feel like you have no control in your life.
Take all the expectations that come at us from every direction. We have a boss that expects us to
perform to a certian standard.
We have family that expects that we will be a certian way.
And we have the expectations of ourselves.
And with all of thoes things, we can feel completely like we have no control at all.
We are ill at ease with the straight jacket of expectations.

And well we should be. Living life in a straight jacket makes everything difficult.

Then there are the emotions that we don't ever touch. The grief someone is experienceing
at the death of a loved one, or someone close to us.
We are uncomfortable with how raw we feel inside. It's not approprate or polite to let people
see how raw our grief can be.
At least not in this country or culture.

In other parts of the world, death is greeted by howling and sobbing openly with no shame
or fear of reproach.
It's a part of life. It is embraced as part of life. And loss hurts, no matter what anyone ever says
loss always hurts.
But here in this culture, death and all it's after math are kept in hushed uncomfortable tones.
Just like sex, and talking about it, and dealing with the emotions that encompas that particular
part of human nature.

We fumble about, and get embarresed when the subject comes up and to ease the tension we feel about it
we make jokes about it.
It just shows how uncomfortable we are with it.
In other cultures sex is not seen how it's seen here and is part of life so it's addressed as such.
It has it's place in things.
One thing I noticed about how other cultures deal with these two very uncomfortable to american
thought processes, is that there are no unnatural fears surrounding thoes two things.
They are part of life, and treated as such.

Then there is the emotion of love. That's a huge one. What most people see as love is mearly passing
It fades. Unfortunately people who believe they love each other marry and they have no idea
of what it means to really love someone else besides ourselves.
We can be very narcisitic when it comes to loveing ourselves over the person we marry.

A really good example of this is the couple after getting married find out more about what they dislike
about each other rather than what they really like about them.
Little things that before marriage were wonderful and charming and endering have now become annoyances
that make us angry.
Before we get married to someone we only spend so much time with them, even if we have sex with them
before marriage we really don't have a large enough idea of who we are really stary eyed over
simply because most of the time we marry for the wrong reasons.

I believe the best marriages are based on friendship rather than physical attraction.
A best friend will love you no matter what you look like. No matter how you struggle with things,
and they will stand beside you when your really emotionally a basket case.
A best friend loves you for who you are, not what you can do for them.
They find that just being in your company is enough.

That's an awesome base to grow a life time relationship with anyone with, whether you marry them or not.
A best friend loves you even when your being an asshole.
They may tell you your an asshole but they will still love you.
They will be honest with you, and stay no matter what. It reminds me of how a dog is with the person
that means the most to them.

So what is love anyway, besides an emotion that is this big vague thing that everyone seems to throw
around like so easily.
From what I've seen in life, this is what I've come to the conclusion love is:
Love sees with eyes that know what someone is like and wants to be there anyway.
Love makes a person want to be honest in what they say and do.
Love takes the other person into account when making decisions.
And love would rather see the other person happy even if it means that you watch them walk
away from you.
Love doesn't build boxes or cages around someone.
And never asks for anything back when giving something to someone.
Love makes you want to do for other people in a way that makes you forget about yourself.
Love reminds you that we all are human and it's a dangerous thing to stand in judgment of anyone.
You have no idea of where they are or what they are going through, and to judge them without
really knowing them is going to come back and bit you in the butt.

Love is willing to be hurt. And willing to forgive.
Love wants to protect and wants the very best for another person.

And love grows. Real love will do everything it can to grow even when it's neglected.

Love is a choice. And love sees all humanity as the same. The skin on a person doesn't determine
whether they are worth of love or not, love is blind that way.

That's what I know about what love is. A very strong emotion.

Love doesn't happen over night. Love takes time. But when it's there, it's awesome.
And when it's gone, it feels like death inside.

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