Reading Funny Stuff

I have an odd sense of humor I guess. I love the ironic and sarcastic, along with the stupidly absurd or clever: all of which can be found readily in above average animated comedies. But quite often, and at what seems to be complete random, I will laugh my ass off at things which those around don't find funny at all. Sometimes its a phrase I make up, such as "extremely sweaty circumcision" (although one other person laughed also at this one). I laugh when I get physically hurt. Or sometimes it's cheap jokes, or just plain stupid attempts.

For example, at the writing club I'm part of (where we basically sit around scribbling the most inane junk we can imagine), we were all supposed to create a fable-ish story. So one guy wrote "How the bull got his horns. A bear and a bull were in the woods. The bear was really mad, and he smashed two rocks onto the bulls head. That's how the bull got his horns."

Maybe it was his delivery (he really is hilarious... he also co-wrote a play called 'The Milker', which was unbelievable), but I laughed so hard, much harder than anyone else. It wasn't nearly as bad as my contribution though... and you'll have to call whether this is funny or not: "How the policeman got his mustache. Long ago, policemen didn't have mustaches. The criminals didn't give them no respect. 'Kiss my ass!' said the criminals. And one day, they did."

I don't necessarily like all extreme and/or crude humor. This is an example that was recieved badly, and although I thought the tack-on at the end made it work, I mainly wrote it as a protest of people ripping into Tom kinda harshly. But then, I did enjoy The Aristocrats, which was utter filth. That movie makes a great point about comedy though; it's not about the content, it's about the twist.

Alright, back to bad jokes. I'm not even sure this is funny, but feel free to try and name a worse one.

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a brick?

A: You can't fuck a brick.

:p

You're here, aren't you? You're talking to me, aren't you?

This post was edited by Bunk on Dec 15, 2005.

The problem with offensive jokes is that, obviously, it is offensive. I think for someone to truly say they have a sense of humor, they have to be open to all forms, profane, racial, even personal.

This isn't not to be mistaken for someone who laughs at everything. I didn't say that. I said someone who truly has a sense of humor is tolerant to other forms of humor, meaning that while they may fail to see the humor in a joke, they never forget that it still is, in fact, a joke.

I would like to think that I have a sense of humor, but I tend to have a problem with the jokes which jests at my intelligence or body.

And while we are on the subject of bad jokes, I have one that my roommate thought was hilarious:

What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?

Answer: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

Bad, I know.

If the world should blow itself up,the last audible voice would be an expert saying it can't be done

I can definitely understand, and practice, the idea of tolerating humour that is at my expense. I tend to gravitate towards people who tend to have pretty sarcastic or downright offensive senses of humour, and I'm no stranger to poking fun at others (or myself), either. I will, however, draw the line when it comes to something like Holocaust jokes or any other humour that tries to get laughs out of similar instances where mankind has wrought unimaginable evil upon itself. I think that making jests at absolute tragedies of that nature goes too far just for a laugh.

Having said that, what's red and white and gets shorter with every passing second?

A: A baby coming his hair with a potato peeler.

I'll believe in anything if you'll just believe in anything

I'm a sucker for bad taste, and that includes morbid humour. While I'm usually the first to point out (and rant about) the obvious flaws in half-assed Hollywood scripts, I find flicks like Braindead (Dead Alive), Bad Taste or Army of Darkness to be hilarious. I don't mind the occasional racist joke as long as it's genuinely funny and me & the teller/audience agree that we're not racist, we just hate to pass up the chance of telling/hearing a good joke.

Having said that...

What's about 30cm long, blueish at one end and makes women scream?

Cot death.

"God is dead." - Nietzsche, 1882 "Nietzsche is dead." - God, 1900

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a brick?

A: You can't fuck a brick.

This is the kind of joke that goes really well with a serious face. If you are smiling people will look at you funny.

Now, for my joke:

A man was sitting in bar drunk off his ass. Another man came down and sat next to him, and without inviting the other to do so, he starts a conversation.

"You see this bar here?"

The newcomer responds with a simple grunt.

"I built this with my bare hands. I sanded it down, polished it, and stained it. I then waxed it until it was as shiny as possible... but am I called mcGregor the bar builder? Nay..."

A few moments pass...

"You see that peer out there? I put every stake down, I ran every board, and even build a few of the boats attached to it... am I mcGregor the peer builder... no sir."

After about five seconds he continues...

"This floor here... solid oak. I laid every plank and hundreds of couples have danced on it to the band who plays instruments I crafted by hand... but am I mcGregor the floor maker, or even instrument maker? No, not even that..."

"But I fucked a goat one time..."

I should be ashamed of myself.

This post was edited by Aynjell on Feb 03, 2006.

Ha. :D It's good to be known for something, anyway...

You're here, aren't you? You're talking to me, aren't you?