Reading Funny Stuff

There is an artist on deviartArt [Gabo] who created The Perfect Scroll, and soon after held a competition which had other members create their own personal perfect person scroll.
Heres another example

After having a back and forth throw of ideas with Null, it seemed like a good idea to post it here.

Now what we need you to do and hopefully I can get a lot of NAOees to participate here, is make up your own perfect scroll.

It would be the perfect guy and perfect girl....

BUT! here's the catch.

Since we can't draw - the other option is to create the scroll to be completely wackey and out of the world.

So lets see how crazy we can get... ;)

Foosh... Aaughh!!... Foosh... Aauuggghh!! - Cold spray deodorant

This post was edited by jael on Dec 23, 2005.

Well unfortunately I don't seem to be able to come up with something so far out that it'll instantly make you go "what the...". I'll thus just post whatever comes to mind, mmkay?

"The perfect girl will..."

• watch TV cross-legged

• curl her hair with her fingers when thinking hard

• go to bed wearing only a slip and an XXL t-shirt

• leave the easy parts of the crossword puzzles in my newspaper blank

• take me with her when buying lingerie (but not when buying shoes)

• not mind my habit of walking away from the table right after dinner and cleaning up only hours later

• be fond of everything that is hilariously bad-taste

• occasionally fart in the shower and cheer about the great resonance

• ...

Consider yourself hugged.

"The perfect girl will..."

go to bed wearing only a slip and an XXL t-shirt

uhm .. that's spooky. My beloved one does do that. Actually she prefers sleeping naked and only puts on the XXXXL t-shirt when going for a piss (ie. I'm borrowing it to her :D). Ah yes, I've got to wear 5XL t-shirts because in Germany those clothes producers are all idiots who think 5XL in Germany should be XXL or so. Also 4XL t-shirts aint long enough (I dont give a fuck about the width, anyway!) :-/

But lemme see:
The perfect girl will...

- laugh about my (sometimes) horrible jokes

- fart and burp with me together

- listen to Black Metal or Metal of any kind expect (*puke*) Nu or Power Metal

- tolerate my total absent-mindedness ("planlosigkeit")

- go to bed wearing only her own skin

- like to scream when having an orgasm

- be there for me when I need her the most

- tolerate my long, ever-lasting, mindless rants :D

- probably drink (and take) much more than me

- like being outside in the nature, fresh air and all that

uhm .. I think I've already found my perfect girl :D

Naturally, I love Jesus very much. I love him so much that I'd like to crucify him all over again.

You're always good for a laugh, you know it null?

I'm responding purely to keep track of what happens in this thread. :)

She has to be good at video games

She has to like linux!

She has to be the humourous sort and of peculiar character *eyes melmel*

Must charge me gross amounts for sex... oh wait, how'd that slip in... *eyes melmel again* (inside joke)

She has to like gross comedy, like, after hours cartoon network!

And apparently, from my experience, she has to be from anywhere but here because I've met many of these perfect girls online!

She also has to like electronic music!

She must wear boyleg panties, for some reason, they turn me on.

I should be ashamed of myself.

This post was edited by Aynjell on Feb 02, 2006.

Uhhh, not quite sure how to respond to this one lol. I go away for two weeks and this is what happens...

Aynjell my friend, i love you dearly, and this is difficult to say... but i think it's time you started watching porn again :P

Don't make me up my rates...

-MelMel :P

Look at me! I'm a prostitute robot from the future!

Thanks for encouraging me. Sheesh...

And no, please don't up your rates. I already have to save for a year just to get 10 minutes...

I should be ashamed of myself.

What the hell, let's see what my brian can think up at 1am.

The perfect guy will...

Talk theatre with me

be an intellectual but not an arrogant tool

have longish hair and smooth skin

bathe frequently

drive

have a shoe fetish

watch the simpsons, family guy and futurama

put up with my excessive puns

never wear a shirt

only drink spirits and wine

buy me presents ^_^

think im not fat

take me on holidays far, far away

have a boyish grin

not have a stomach that feels like a freezer. Working out is one thing, but come on, some just take it too far. Nobody wants to feel that.

Have distinct cheekbones and collarbone

have defined shoulders

have dimples

be slightly older than me

(ok these are all boring so far, *thinks harder*)

find my black sheets sexy

serenade me weekly

make me scrambled eggs

drink a lot of coffee

spend hours trying and failing to win me stupid, ugly presents at stupid, ugly carnivals

deliver jokes in deadpan

survive meeting my parents

buy me a better car... With a bigger backseat

wear tighty whiteys to match my handbag

have a little bit of commonsense

eat junkfood

oh i don't know. I'm not actually that picky. If you have/are three or more of the above, email me :P

teh heh heh. I think i just took the fun out of this, sorry jael!

-Mel

Look at me! I'm a prostitute robot from the future!