Reading What Rules

Feb 24, 2006 03:26 # 42002

majic *** replies...

Re: Excuse me?

And btw, smile for me, because I just got invited to place some of my poetry in an anthology here in St. Louis. I was floored! It's always nice to have things like that happen. From one poet to another...

That totally rocks. I'm not sure what the Anthology in St. Louis is, is that in a museum? I am extremely excited for you though. Have fun with it, don't succumb to rules, write what you feel and remember that it's not so much what people think about it, it's about getting a feeling inside you put into a form that can be written and understood. The challenge is writing in an expressive way while maintaining a level of understanding that can be grokked by normal people =)

Feb 24, 2006 03:43 # 42003

rosyxxx *** posts about...

Re: Excuse me?

?% | 1

The challenge is writing in an expressive way while maintaining a level of understanding that can be grokked by normal people =)

That's so true. But then it sometimes is so hard to convey your true feelings even when you are trying the hardest. I'll do my best. It's a great honor to be invited to submit something. I didn't know that they really appreciated my poetry that much.

The funny thing is, I just got done telling friends the other night, after a painful date fiasco, that I wouldn't be working the beer booth for Word In Motion, the not-for-profit poetry organization here in St. Louis. I told him that I had my reasons, one of them having been that I just too recently got over three weeks of sickness, and didn't want to stand out all day in potentially freezing cold temperatures. The other reason is irrelevant. But I did mention that I have great respect for my friend Paul the poet, the "One Man Riot". He is an excellent poet, in the callibre of many poets I love. He's a lover of Rimbaud. He's also schizophrenic OPENLY, and paradoxically one of the sanest people I know, while being extremely talented.

Someday he will be famous more than just here in St. Louis. He posted a poem here once. He said that he wrote it when he met me. We've been friends ever since, and he's inspired me to write some of my most beautiful poetry. Everyone here calls him: "The Poet to the Stars", because the only people that seem to 'get' his poetry are other poets. But it's okay, because the way he 'gets' you, is to inspire you with so much creative force, just from reading his poetry. He's another Charles Bukowski, IMHO. I finally found the one poem he posted here back in March. Here it is. It's really a great poem.

It feels so good to realize that that group of poets actually considers me in the callibre. It's been nice getting to know people here better in the flesh and blood. :) No offense.

My mind is made up...not like my bed, which is a mess.

This post was edited by rosyxxx on Feb 24, 2006.

Feb 24, 2006 03:58 # 42005

majic *** replies...

Re: Excuse me?

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I can't comment on why others write but when I do it there seems to be something pulling, pushing and tugging at me to do it. I don't necessarily do it for me but in a way because I feel a need to. For me the grammar, language constructs and word usage is not so much a big deal, the big deal is getting whatever that force is out of my head and putting it into some type of written form. I like poetry so much because I can blankly ignore english grammar and *rules*. I don't like rules, I like doing my own thing.

Feb 25, 2006 07:15 # 42026

Bunk *** is getting sarcastic...

Re: Excuse me?

66% | 4

This isn't very "New Age Geek" of me to say (not that I ever claimed to be such a thing), but I'm beginning to think that emotional investments via online correspondence alone are doomed, or at least unusually prone to misunderstanding and failure.

"History is more or less bunk." - Henry Ford

Feb 28, 2006 00:12 # 42059

Aynjell *** takes out his flame thrower...

Re: Excuse me?

?% | 1

You guys wanna play the rating war? Is that it?

That isn't what is happening. We don't hate you, we just all realized that you were reading into things too much. Cheer up, dear.

Listen majic, if you had read the full thread you would know that this post was directed at Aynjell. He continually bombards me everytime I call him on his shit, with reminders of how overreactive I can be. He's not capable of simply saying I'm sorry that you didn't get my joke about calling you "old" by association, or underhanded jabs referring to my apparent obsession over my health. He just pokes and pokes and pokes, and even knows he's doing it...that's apparent when he inserts stuff that is designed to be antagonistic, and then says he is going to *duck*. Supposedly to avoid my ire.

If you can't take a simple joke, then you don't need to be here. Simple as that. We joke, we all have fun, and to be honest, I get enough of oversensitive bullshit from my dad's girlfreind.

If you know someone is sensitive, as Aynjell does about me......what other reason would there be to say stuff like that, unless you want to push someone's buttons, and see if they will respond, and then you can rate them down, and knock them off their perch, when said person, myself, doesn't really give a rat's ass about the NAO rating system. I don't know for sure, I could be wrong...just like he could be wrong about me. As well as wrong in assuming that everyone here is sick of my shit. Who knows. Who really cares.

I didn't know you were OVERsensitive, and I thought that you were intelligent enough to get a joke, but hey... even I make mistakes. You really like to go off on people for really no reason... when we had the stalker scare, everybody that said or fucking did anything you didn't like was your stalker. I backed you up and supported you, but you were a royal bitch to anyone and everyone, and that really pisses me off now to know I was behind you.

I know who my friends are on here, and I know who aren't. MOST of the ones who are my friends I chat with on e-mail. And I like it that way. This place only brings grief and stress. You post something interesting....people don't read it. You post something controversial and somewhat retaliatory, and people just jump all over it, trying to rate it into oblivion to show the size of their balls, and then talk about how *this person*, namely me, is such a pain in the ass. Why do I need that, Majic, I ask you?

I'm glad I'm not your freind. I really am, as I said before: you have too much bullshit in your life. I got my own and I don't need all yours.

And finally, even though it should be evident that that post was not meant for you...I'll repeat it. I find you very annoying at times, as I'm sure you find me as well, but I'm not disgusted with you personally majic. I'm disgusted with the whole setup of this place AND two people in particular. It is pretty much with two people. Aynjell and harold_maude. Aynjell for his inability to stop making what he deems are innocent jabs, and harold_maude for the horrible post she wrote about me several months ago, because her e-mails to me didn't get answered as quickly as she'd like. The post she wrote you never got to be read by much of anyone here, so I don't think many people really knew what set me off. Null deleted it, hoping I wouldn't tell her to fuck off. But I did.

I'm glad you hate me. I really am, it just means I don't have to give a shit about you. I used to, but hey... I don't need the stress, and if my innocent jabs I'd make at anyone piss you off, get over it. It's just words, and they were meant as a joke. I can say "Fuck You" in two different ways, and my father would take it in a way a stranger wouldn't (in a fun way, actually, we joke around a lot).

And it hurt. A lot. Because I am who I say I am. And she basically asked me if the post I wrote tongue-in-cheek from my mother's viewpoint, meant that I was really my mother. She sent two e-mails asking about that. I didn't get them right away, so she sent one more warning me that since I refused to respond, she would basically let it rip. And she did. She ripped me to shreds in her post. And I ripped her back. And I hated myself for it. I wasn't as kind as Hardballkid was when he got slammed by me, waaay back when the stalking thing was going on, because I thought he was one of the many aliases my stalker assumed. Hardballkid just quietly blew it off, and didn't take it very personal. He's a sweetheart.

Agreed. He's cool as shit, and you were a royal bitch. Sure you aren't making the same mistake with me? Only difference here is: I don't take some middle aged confused ass woman's shit online. The funny part is, you can make a mistake and totally fuck with somebody, but I do something playfully, you blow it out of proportion, and I'm the devil? Jesus, woman. Get a fucking life.

I, however, ripped harold_maude right back. And neither one of us has ever apologized to each other. And it likely will never happen. It hurt too much. I don't think that fence is repairable. And it looks like the one with Aynjell isn't either. And honestly, I don't think I want them to be....I just want it done and over with.

I'd gladly be your friend, but this "I'm better than you", and "I can ready you like a book" shit is for the birds. Take that to work, it's more useful for you there.

Majic, I don't like to be pulled back down into the pot of crabs. Misery loves company, and I don't like that kind of company. I don't like the way people in general just "poke" at each other here, and worry so much about their ratings. I don't like the way a lot of people seem to be trying to scramble up the anthill of ratings, and then hypocritically say that they don't consider that shit important, or that this place can't be taken seriously. The seriousness with which most of you all take this place, belies those kinds of statements.

At this point in the game, you seem to be the crab at the bottom. Me and mel shared a casual inside joke and you bitched at me over what you THOUGHT it meant? Here's a newsflash babe: You don't get paid to think, and I'm sure it's for a damn good reason.

To be honest, I am sad that I even came back here to post, at Aynjell's behest, because it has become very clear, in a short period of time, that this place just brings out the worst in people too often. I like myself a whole lot better when I'm not here. And I don't get into these quibbles over who I was in the past with people offline anymore....only online, and only here.

You are mellodramatic. This all started over you calling things out of name. The sadness was at your "behest" (hey, I learned a new word).

It's like you guys (and here I am not referring specifically to you,'s just a blanket referrence) just people up on a pedestal, and then like to chip away at them to prove that they were likely never really anything special anyway. I don't need it. I don't know what else to say...I feel like I am just spinning my wheels.

You are special. Yer a human being with different experiences than me and I offered to share mine. I have a bad past, and you've had your hardships, but really... you are the one pointing fingers here. You are the one calling names... you are the one that seems to keep on bringing me up and trying to make me out as something evil.

As anyone can tell you, I won't hang out in a room full of bullshit. Ask majic, he's my mate, but one of his freinds caused me to leave his (or what was his) channel indefinitely. I wish we could keep in touch, but hey... that's the breaks.

Speaking of which, majic, how's life?

Anyway, you really need to chill rosy. You blew it all out of proportion, and if my jokes bothered you, I'm sorry. I sometimes don't think how others interpret things. Again, yer special in ways I ain't... and that can cause some interesting things, including miscommunications. Sorry, but you know what:

Yer too much bullshit for me. Sorry, but let's not talk anymore.

I should be ashamed of myself.

This post was edited by Aynjell on Feb 28, 2006.

Feb 28, 2006 08:14 # 42068

null has a suggestion...


Peace pipe

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

Feb 28, 2006 14:39 # 42077

Aynjell *** replies...

Re: Whoops...


I should be ashamed of myself.

Feb 28, 2006 10:20 # 42069

MelMel *** is unsure about...

Re: Excuse me?

Please, just stop. Let's take a step back from this. I'm going to ask you both to stop, or if you can't continue it pivately.

My head knows that i was only a catalyst for this, but right now i just cant take any more guilt, i cant handle feeling like im disappointing anyone else. I'm being selfish, i know. But this is just an extra load i just cant carry right now.

Rosy, i have so much respect for you and you are a wonderful person. Aynjell, i truly cherish you and your friendship. Even if you dont give a damn about each other, please listen to me when i say your combined negativity is hurting the community. Take it outside if it must continue.


Look at me! I'm a prostitute robot from the future!

Feb 28, 2006 14:13 # 42074

eljefe *** replies...

Hear Hear


However I'm sitting here going back trying to figure out how this exploded and I'm still here scratching my head...

However stop feeling guilt. I have no clue wtf is going on but I can tell you its not your fault mel. What I see is a point lost in translation and some people not willing to take the high road and just shoosh. However I have been known to give the high road the finger so I don't think I have any place to talk about that...

Fond memories

Feb 28, 2006 14:16 # 42075

Aynjell *** replies...

Re: Hear Hear

However I'm sitting here going back trying to figure out how this exploded and I'm still here scratching my head...

That's the problem, and why I'm so pissed off. Rosy can take anything and blow it way out of fucking proportion. I say something about mel's looks, and I'm sexist...

I joke at rosy, and I'm making jabs. I dunno, she's way too freaking oversensitive. But yeah, like I said, I'm done. She just needs to realize that for her own good: being oversensitive hasn't helped her one bit, as shown by ALL of her bullshit fits she's gone up in. She's pulled NAO into at least one, and did it do anyone any good?

And I won't take the high road when... god what I wanna say here would be so fucking wrong. I'll not say it.

I should be ashamed of myself.

This post was edited by Aynjell on Feb 28, 2006.

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