Reading Love and Lifesense

I just had the most beautiful healing experience, while giving a full Reiki treatment to an ex of mine. We went and caught "Thank You For Smoking" (my second time...it's so darn funny!!!Funnier than Dave Chappelle, IMHO), and then he stopped in to take home two bags full of books. I'd asked him earlier if I could give him some Reiki.

So, while I was working on him, I felt all of my anger at my other friend just dissolve. I'd been trying to get back into the space I was in the day of my Reiki I attunement, and yesterday, I had started chanting a mantra for healing anger between friends, which helped, but I just felt my thoughts wandering toward angry ones. Of course there was reason to be angry, but it's been so long since I've been that angry...it scared me. I actually had been shaking with rage yesterday, and I found myself coughing, and feeling a cold coming on. My breathing had become restricted. I thought: "If I ever needed confirmation that the respiratory illnesses of my past were related to suppressed, and/or inappropriately expressed anger, I had it yesterday." It's so strange sometimes, to think about what your emotions and the thoughts that you occupy your brain with are capable of doing to your body.

I'd wondered if this was just an emotional healing crisis from the attunement. They say that your body does some heavy adjusting after an attunement, and healing crises can occur. Usually it's something more mundane like diarrhea, or stomach upset; but sometimes, it is a very deep emotional healing that brings up all of your buried issues, and heals them one by one. That must be what is happening. All the literature I've read suggests just acknowledge the dredged up emotions, but trying not to act upon them.

But today, while I was giving a full Reiki treatment to another friend, I felt such a peaceful calm come over me. Reiki is a healing modality that does not use your own energy, so it does not drain you. In fact, it heals both the receiver and the giver. It did tonight. I feel nothing but love toward my other friend for now and hopefully from here on out, and peaceful and calm around the one I gave the Reiki to...

He, for his part, seemed quite amazed at the experience of receiving Reiki. He seemed at a loss for words for quite some time. It seemed he didn't quite know how to verbalize what he felt. I told him that it was good that he had drifted in and out of sleep, because it can sometimes allow the body to accept more healing energy. Your mind isn't actively trying to block it, because it thinks it is strange. And I was glad that he had been able to sleep some, he was very tired.

He said he didn't know what to expect, but that he felt a sort of energy, some warmth, and especially, in the stomach region he felt my hands there before they were there. He looked baffled, and a little wierded out about admitting that, but oddly pleased. I told him that when I had swept his aura, I felt something around the stomach. I have no idea, since I can't make diagnoses, and I have no idea anyway. I just felt that his stomach, his knees, and his right hand needed the most energy. My hands got considerably hotter in each of those places, as well as the back of his neck, which he didn't mention.

The point is, we both just grinned from ear to ear. He looked at me sort of bewildered by it all, but with such a huge smile on his face. He said, you know, next time I'm sure I'll fall asleep too probably...that just made me smile. To see that he feels how beneficial the energy is as well is so cool. It's life affirming. He says he thinks he will sleep extra well, and I think I will too. We both got something out of it. And it came from a place of pure, unconditional love, not anger, nor lust, nor fear, nor anxiety. Just love. It's nice to come back to it. It feels so much better than anger. He told me thank you very, very much, and I said: "No, thank you." And I am grateful again. Here again, is the place of peace I had yesterday before I let my anger get ahold of me. And Reiki has given it to me, through the opportunity to let Reiki energy come through me to another.

I think I can forgive myself for being angry yesterday at my other friend. Eventually, I'll be able to offer her Reiki for her chronic neck pain. I couldn't do it yesterday. I wanted to, but I was so angry. I had just wanted room to heal from our discussions last week before she bombarded me with calls again, and I think, bottom line, I should not have listened to her last message, and I should not have called her back yesterday. Next time, I hope I will remember when it is in my best interest to just walk away. I don't have to respond immediately just because someone leaves an infuriating message.

I told my ex, that the anger I felt yesterday was partly because I saw myself in her. I saw her doing some of the very things I've tried so hard to stop doing, and it was hard to watch. All of a sudden, after giving my ex Reiki, I feel as if I understand so much more what my other friend was wrestling with in relation to me. It may take some weeks before she and I can talk, but I think we will. I just keep holding my amethyst. This isn't an easy road, but it never is, is it?

Thank you to Sirocco, Willow, Andalor and Angelique. You know who you are, and with your help I can get past the anger that is left in me, and anymore that may or may not come.

If mountain goats like living at high elevations, why do none live in high rise apartment buildings?