Reading Movies

Jun 10, 2006 09:48 # 42999

null tells about...

Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

94% | 5

The original Omen series are close to 30 years old. Reason enough for Hollywood to produce a contemporary remake. The birth of Satan's son is now being announced by events such as tsunamis or 9/11 - it may seem a bit far-fetched to interpret the fall of the World Trade Center as a "fire-spewing mountain", but which bible passage isn't far-fetched, right?

Being a fan of the original series, I walked into the cinema with what might have been too high expectations.
Maybe five minutes into the movie I close my eyes and listen to the actors. I think of what I'd guess they're doing if I didn't know the story already.

They must be sitting around a coffee table reading a bad book while clipping their toenails or something. No doubt about that.

Mild spoilers ahead

"Mr. Thorn, your child is dead. And did you watch the game yesterday?"
"Oh, how awful. This is gonna kill my wife. Yeah, it was pretty boring, wasn't it?"

"Who's that? Did you watch the game yesterday?"
"That's our son. No, I fell asleep after ten minutes. Did I muss much?"
"Oh, how wonderful. I love you. Not at all."
"I love you too. Thought so."


The acting eventually got a bit less lethargic, but that couldn't belie the fact that the original story's coherency has almost entirely been sacrificed to surprise shock effects. While the shock effects were quite well done (both my girls jumped in their seat every time), I wish they wouldn't have spent the entire budget on cheap effects and instead at least tried to make the 'story' plausible or even coherent.

"Mr. Thorn, on this picture you see a white blob."
"Oh my god. I don't know you and you're an entirely unappealing appearance, but I trust you enough to accept this as undisputed proof that my son must be the antichrist."

"Mister ambassador, drop the knife!"
2 milliseconds later
Brrrrrapp!
Jesus on the cross is sprayed with blood


Some of the characters were awful as well. I mean, besides the wooden acting, they were obvious miscasts.

The original Mrs. Baylock was awe-inspiring, harsh, and accepted no opposition even from the head of the household. In the final showdown she delivered a great fight and was eventually stabbed to death with a pair of scissors after she overpowered Thorn and tried to strangle him to death.
The remake Mrs. Baylock was a blonde hippie granny on the brink of senility who was defeated with one swift kick in the ass.

The original Pater Spiletto was big, with burning eyes, paternal and convincing, a real force. "Tonight, Mister Thorn, God gave a son to you and your wife." In the monastery, he was partially blind and paralysed. A fellow monk explained how this happened to him.
The remake Pater Spiletto was a cauliflower-headed alcoholic. "You should take the child, oh, can you spare some change?" In the monastery, his face was turned into a white plastic pumpkin which looked so obviously fake it was funny instead of scary. No explanation was offered.

They messed up Bugenhagen (what a name) in pretty much the same way. The original Bugenhagen was a pretentious prick, but at least you could accept him as the 'wise man' and authority he was supposed to be. The remake Bugenhagen was a fscking cross-breed of Trashcanman from The Stand and the Mad Hatter! Would you accept a bunch of daggers to kill your own son from such a nut? Nope, only the remake Mr. Thorn would think this is acceptable.

The dog. Please, how many ways are there to mess up a dog scene? The dog itself was almost perfect, a big black animal with enormous teeth.
And then come the growl sounds. In one scene the dog sounds like a retarded epileptic choking on his own tongue. I mean, who is intimidated by a dog that goes like "Rrrrroooaaaruuuuuuuuuuhmmmmmmmbaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhrrrrr-hmph-rrrrrrr-hhhh" for thirty seconds solid?


There were some improvements over the original. The "photographer beheaded by a glass pane" scene, which helped make the original a cult movie, has been replaced with a pretty cool "roofer steps on hammer, hammer slides down and falls on figurehead, figurehead turns around in a really cool way and beheads photographer" scene. The way Thorn opens the trapdoor in front of him when the dog charges at him is pretty cool, too - it almost made me laugh. Credit where credit is due.

Unfortunately, the few really good scenes can't compensate for the half-assed rest of the movie. Return of investment is definitely sub-optimal for the regular moviegoer.

Do yourself a favour and watch the original movie instead. You may need to blow the dust out of the DVD player after watching it, but at least you get what movies should be all about - 106 minutes of solid and enjoyable entertainment for just a couple bucks (not including popcorn).

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

This post was edited by null on Jun 14, 2006.

Mar 22, 2007 00:19 # 44148

smashedmotif * replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

?% | 1

"Being a fan of the original series, I walked into the cinema..."[note: the quote function was not working at the time of this post.]

Null, my boy, what were you thinking? Do you obviously think that Hollow wood, er...Hollywood could do a better movie on something as well made as the original.

I didn't see the remak, but it seems there are a lot of remakes or movies being made based on books e.g. IRobot. Where are the originals.

Remind me to discuss Dune, in the future.

When reading your post I couldn't help but to chuckle many times, and especially when about the black dog growling.

Let's see, I think I saw the Omen when I was about 12 or so. Maybe I was 14 years of age. In regards to kids jumping in their seats, I nearly jumped out of my seat, then, at the scene when nanny says, "...this is for you..." and then jumps off the roof of a building with a six foot rope around her neck.

Another scence I appreciate from the original movie is the ride through the zoo, when all the baboons attack the car. Holy smokes, I bet ..."they never done that before..." Ah!

Oh, and another scene, when the boy is riding his tricycle down the upstairs hallway: "Look out, you, here I come(my paraphrase)!"

Overall, I'm glad you posted this and are promoting appreciation for movies of yesteryear.

p.s. no bible verse is far fetched. Just defending the faith, here.

I love reading Russian Literature!!!

Mar 22, 2007 07:58 # 44155

null replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

?% | 1

Null, my boy, what were you thinking? Do you obviously think that Hollow wood, er...Hollywood could do a better movie on something as well made as the original.

Come on, I'm not that naive. :-) I have yet to see a remake that's better (or even close to as good as) the original. Still, with Omen I had the impression that they weren't even trying. I mean, take Ring/Ringu f'r instance: at least there, the actors were trying, and the action scenes weren't ridiculously overdone. (Church scene at the end of the Omen remake)

I suppose the reason that we're currently swamped with remakes is that they're a lot cheaper to produce than an original story. All you have to do is take the original script (absolutely no creativity required), add a few explosions and some boobs and you're all set. The good thing is that it introduces some really good classics to a new generation, the bad thing is that the original is usually better. Oh well, I guess you can't have everything.

[edit]

p.s. no bible verse is far fetched. Just defending the faith, here.

Oh, I think I need to clarify my statement a bit. I didn't mean the verses itself but the way they often are interpreted.
No offense meant :-)

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

This post was edited by null on Mar 26, 2007.

Mar 22, 2007 15:45 # 44159

smashedmotif * replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

?% | 1

"...introduces some really good classics to a new generation(null)..."

You're complete correct, here.

"I suppose the reason that we're currently swamped with remakes is that they're a lot cheaper to produce than an original story(null)."

Hello, Star Wars.

Georgey boy even said that he was not ready to add cut scence and ideas. Something like that.

What about Apocolypse now, they added a whole stinkin'-cheese hour with the French in some hut out in some region of the jungle.

Definately, as you point out, its cheaper to do the remakes. It may be interesting, too, to do remakes and add "new" effects, now that computer graphics are available.

"...with Omen I had the impression that they weren't even trying(null)."

That just might be true. In fact, the movie makers probably knew they couldn't beat the original, so why not go for broke.

I might as well get out there and rent the DVD and watch the movie, now. I wanna see if our evil little boy has the same awnry look in his eyes. What a little brat, eh?

I love reading Russian Literature!!!

Mar 22, 2007 17:42 # 44163

yoshi314 * replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

?% | 1

I'm anxiously waiting till hollywood starts ripping off asian cinema on a regular basis, and making remakes of remakes of asian movies (it already does so to some extent).

"Life is a queue. You come in, hang around for a bit, get some service, then depart."

Mar 22, 2007 20:29 # 44165

smashedmotif * replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

?% | 1

What of a Hollywood-remake of NAO? Imagine that.

I love reading Russian Literature!!!

This post was edited by smashedmotif on Mar 22, 2007.

Mar 23, 2007 13:29 # 44179

yoshi314 * replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

What of a Hollywood-remake of NAO? Imagine that.

that goes far beyond my imagination: ]

the title would be "NAOlith" perhaps?: >

"Life is a queue. You come in, hang around for a bit, get some service, then depart."

Mar 23, 2007 18:16 # 44182

null replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

NAOlith 3000?
NAOminator?
NAO Reloaded?

In any case it'd have bigger explosions than the original, and all NAOees but one would be pimply under- or overweight teenagers with repulsive grooming habits. Oh, and the only non-American NAOee's name would be Linus.

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

Mar 26, 2007 09:03 # 44205

smashedmotif * replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

No offense meant :-)

No offense taken.:)

Plus, I wanted to use that line, "...defending the faith..."

As in Defenders of the Faith.

It sounds like the title of a movie, where a band of fanatics go about defending the mystical religion of a time -- a lost and forgotten time -- in the name of some king. Or something.

I'm sure there is some "B-rated" movie out here that falls along these lines.

I love reading Russian Literature!!!

This post was edited by smashedmotif on Mar 26, 2007.

Mar 09, 2008 16:58 # 45518

harold_maude *** replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

I remember seeing the orginal and the music still creeps me out.

Hollywood has trouble comming up with new stuff. They keep pulling these peices of art that someone else understood and rode the passion for the thing, and gave the viewers something powerful, and try to make another one, but it seems to be little more than a cheap imatation.
I've seen a few exceptions to that rule, the new Halloween by Rob Zombie is awesome.
I kind of like it actually better than the orignal.
He was faithful to the orginal but what he did was show more of what led up to michael myers break and then there is the whole process durring michaels incarceration that shows you the complete change in michael, so when he starts going out and doing his thing, you know where he has come from and what he is.

This remake of the orginal hit deep and hard.

Maybe they should have asked Rob Zombie to do the remake of the omen, it probably would have been closer to meeting your expectations.

He understands something about horror, and knows how to express it well, house of a thouand corpses...I haven't seen it yet, it's on a rather long list of movies that I've yet to see.

So maybe they picked the wrong director to do the remake is all.
But it's done.

It's too bad that they quit doing mystery science theatre, it sounds like this remake would have been a perfect movie to use.
Have you ever seen mystery science?
They take bad horror movies and go complete cheese on.

My favorite is "horror at party beach". The monster looks like it's trying to get about 9 hotdogs into it's mouth and they are stuck.
It's hysterical. There is another part where these three girls who are going to I think atlantic city and stop at this gas station to ask directions.
It's a trip, they are flirting with the attendatnt who is the typical 1950's gas attendent.

Anyway they get off on a wrong road and of course they get a flat tire and the monsters come, there's now more than just one monster going on in this movie.
They look like someone covered them with wilted lettus and used big goofy eyes and glued them on.

Oh yeah there is a slumber party scene. That's just as goofy as the rest of it.
It's so bad it's good. :)

Mar 09, 2008 18:43 # 45519

null agrees...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

I remember seeing the orginal and the music still creeps me out.

See, now that's exactly what I'm talking about. Quality stuff. :-)

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

Mar 10, 2008 11:49 # 45520

harold_maude *** replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

?% | 1

Uh huh. :)

There are a couple of movies that run in the B horror catagory that arn't too bad, one is "Bucket of Blood" and "Carnival of Souls". Both in black and white.
Bad cinamatography, but not to bad a story line.

The one I want to find is called "the dog that got real big".
I've only seen a clip from that and I thought I was going to fall off a chair laughing.
They have this town and it's just white cutout cardboard and they have this irish setter walk through the set.
I really want to see the rest of it.

Then there is the one with all the mutant rabbits in it.
Oh the cheese of it all! :)

Mar 10, 2008 17:51 # 45526

null has a suggestion...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

My dear friend! Allow me to humbly point you to this wonderful web site.

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

Mar 10, 2008 23:17 # 45532

harold_maude *** replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

I love it!!! A thousand thanks! I bookmarked it and everything!
Ohhh come to me bad B movies! With all your cheese that makes me laugh until I cry...

Speaking of bad movies "the devil bat" has Bella Lagosa in it and you can see the wires the bat is on.

I love it! A bat that needs help to get into a garage!
What will they think of next?

Anyway, I'm settled down now...thank you for pointing me to the site.
Let's see what they have...:)

Mar 11, 2008 06:31 # 45534

null replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

I'm particularly fond of Bad Taste and, of course, the timeless classic Braindead (or Dead Alive). Yell if you need those on DVD!

As for my viewing pleasure, I shall try to get my hands on a copy of the Devil Bat as soon as possible. It sure sounds like fun :-)

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

Mar 12, 2008 22:23 # 45544

harold_maude *** replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

I haven't seen thoes two, but I was looking at the ones I've got and I have quite a few actually.

I even added Plan 9 from outer space. Ed Wood's spectacular disaster.
I think I've got at least 3 copies of Carnilval of Souls. That one is actually pretty good.
I think if Rob Zombie did a remake of it, that would be an awesome remake.

Mar 30, 2008 21:01 # 45643

Jaz *** replies...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

?% | 1

Does it mean I played too much WoW when I thought your post was about Omen being an unnecessary remake of KLM Threat Meter? :)

'Yeah, That's what Jesus would do. Jesus would bomb Afghanistan. Yeah.' - snowlion

Mar 31, 2008 06:17 # 45646

null has a suggestion...

Re: Omen (or "another unnecessary remake")

Dude. :-) You really should log out and visit the Big Blue Room sometime soon. The A/C is still poor but it's getting better every day.

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.


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