Reading Poetry

Vampires

I am a vampire
I hunt in the night
for I am the unliving only knowing the world of the dammed
How I long for hope

I hunt in the night
oh! I wish I could help it! But I can’t
How I long for hope
if my dream of morality is unreachable then it’s hopeless and I am in anguish

oh! I wish I could help it! But I can’t
am I doomed to hunt at night and feed on the living?
if my dream of morality is unreachable then my life is hopeless and I am in anguish
and that is an anguish that I can not escape in night or day

am I doomed to hunt at night and feed on the living?
I am a vampire
and that is an anguish that I can not escape in night or day
for I am the unliving only knowing the world of the dammed

As you may have Noticed, this is a Pontoon.

Here I am and here I will Explode!

this is a Pontoon

haha... I think you mean pantoum. ;)

But I can't find no place or nothin', where thrills are cheap, and love is divine

Thanks for making me have to get out the BIG dictionary. :)

Personally, I think it's closer to a floating vessel which holds a dock afloat, than a Malay verse form consising of an indefinite number of quatrains--but that's just my opinion.

I'll bet that just took 5 years off my life--but GODDAMM if it wasn't worth every second

My problem is that vampire(s) is a subject that has been exploited, and it's difficult to make the subject seem fresh, or compelling.
I like the take on morality, and how that can lead to some interesting texture. But morality is based in choice, and doing the "right thing." You haven't shown us the morality of which you speak. You haven't presented us with the choices that comprise your dilemma.

I'll concede that poems are generalities, never touching the stuff of clouds, but whet appetites with dustings of promises to expose and expound on the vapor rising through nostrils exhaling clouds and dreams. But what you've chosen for your theme becomes an intregal part of the message; as such, it takes a talented hand to craft an original work from a trite subject.

I'll bet that just took 5 years off my life--but GODDAMM if it wasn't worth every second