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If you're like me, you classify action/horror/thriller flicks by two main criteria: whether their story is at least somewhat credible, and whether they refuse to be taken totally serious. (If you're not like me, that's okay too.)
For most action films, exactly one of those two questions can be answered with 'yes'. If the answer to both questions is 'no', you have a movie with a weak story that takes itself too serious, which is usually a bad sign... unless the story and acting are so godawful that it's funny again. (Think Spawn or Eraser)
However, it's not often that our local Ultra-Megaplexx pleases us with a movie that comes with both qualities.
Crank is such an exception: it's a solid action flick with a balanced blend of shooting/fighting/running scenes and the added suspense of a lethal countdown. The scenes between the fighting and running are filled with slapstick.
The story is relatively simple:
Jason Statham of Transporter fame plays a profi killer who wakes up in his apartment with an enormous headache, only to find a DVD on which a chinese mafioso informs him that he's been injected a drug that will kill him within an hour. He decides to use this hour to say goodbye to those he loves, and of course take revenge...
(Every movie should have one.)
[Mild spoilers ahead]
Chopped-off body parts: check.
Bad guys dying in creative ways: check.
Boobs: not really, but there's a cool 'sex in public' scene which makes up for that.
Consumption of illegal drugs: check.
The only black guy in the movie is a drug pusher: check.
Villain dies in the end: check.
Cheesy ending gracefully avoided: check.
Ninjas: nope. Well, you get to see a fat chinese guy.
Story not entirely predictable 5 minutes into the movie: check.
All in all that's not bad. In fact I think the movie was great. I might go see it again. Or buy the DVD. Or maybe I'll just download it since that's perfectly legal in Switzerland, and send Statham ten bucks. At any rate, if you're into good action flicks, go see this one. I'm 99% positive that you'll dig it.
When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.