Reading Love and Lifesense

Over at Molly's there's been kind of a discussion going on about whether its good to be in a Techie/Non-Techie relation or not. The following text is what I've been submitted as a comment (and some additions, as I'd like to say a bit more to this topic ;):

well .. I'm in a non-techie/tech-relationship, and although the first year or so was quite strenous when coming to my "geek factor" part, but by now she not only has accepted I'm into computers but also supports me if there are some hard parts during a project, where you have to work on it to get it done before a specific dead-line and similar stuff.

By now, I very much enjoy to get the weekend off of computing and all the other related stuff. Some years ago I wouldnt have believed that you could lead a well-working relation-ship with someone who isnt involved into all this computer business stuff like me, but by now it feels so natural to me I'd never want to miss this feeling ;)

So, yes - of course a Techie/Non-Techie relationship may work out well. Its just up to you and your partner to turn it into a stable, properly working one. So if you're an egoistic bitch, this wont work out. But if you try hard, sometimes hold back althoug you think you've been misjugdged, your partner will understand you finally.

Of course its sometimes sad you cant transport that feeling about techie/webby stuff you're excited about 1:1, but thats what friends are for. Dont torture your beloved one with that techie yatter she dont want to hear or at least is all a bit too much it - you soon get down from the trip, enjoy and relax, and the nudging, bugging tense will leave. :D

cu, w0lf.

Fuck off the 30 seconds posting limit!

This post was edited by ginsterbusch on May 21, 2007.

Aha. so this is kind of boring, eh? NO WONDER NAO looks so deceased these days!

Once again: Is it good or bad to be together with a techie / non-techie significant other?

Thanks in advance for (not) listening to me,
cu, w0lf.

Fuck off the 30 seconds posting limit!

This post was edited by ginsterbusch on Jun 04, 2007.

Hm. Im not so sure.

When I went to university for the first time last year, I went along in freshers week and joined the odd society or two. I joined the Tabletop gaming/RPG club and console gaming clubs, and when I got there for the first meeting, i took one look around the room, and turned around immediately and left. There wasnt one woman who wasnt obviously a complete motherfucking headcase (well, thats not strictly true, i should say that the only two that werent headcases were attached, and hence, were invisible to me).

Even before that, during the summer, I kinda got involved with another young lady (who on reflection i really shouldnt have done, for a multitude of reasons) who pissed me off with her habit of being as impressionable as wet clay. Picking up and emulating my mannerisms, interests and style of speech, even including things she didnt know about. Pissed me off no end.

Right now im again being pissed off by a young woman, whom i havent seen for two weeks. She sees nothing wrong with this. Yeah, shes got exams and needs to study, but shes spent half this time just sitting around on her arse watching tv. Then there was when she came for a night out a literal stones throw from my house, and she didnt invite me out to see her for like five minutes. I shit you not, I could yell from my window and be heard at this venue. And when i finally do manage to collar her on the phone, and say that I want to see her more often, she starts getting obscenely defensive about her lifestyle choices. It was only by thinly veiled coercetion that shes coming round tommorow to talk properly. I think I have a pretty good idea of whats going to happen, as im sure most people will be aware, knowing me.

H:"<Insert defensiveness about her time>"
D:"Well, why are you going out with me then? Get the fuck outta here, you're wasting my valuable time."

So when it comes to techy/non techy relationships, i guess i dont really have an opinion one way or the other. Im still looking for someone who's not completely fucked in the head.

Sir Deimos, Beater of Ass.

complete motherfucking headcase

What do you mean with "complete .. headcase"? I think I get a bit of grasp of what you mean, but I dont understand that word completely.

Are you a techie trying to get involved with non-techies?

So maybe you're doing that the wrong way, ie. search in the wrong places. But I wont talk about this now as I'm not really certain what's your exact position in this .. ;)

cu, w0lf.

Fuck off the 30 seconds posting limit!

I guess I am a techy. Im doing mechanical engineering at university, anyway. And these women are largely doing other stuff, art or psychology or whatever. This is mainly because women on the whole dont largely go for science, or my particularly blunt worldview, but tend to like to wrap things up in pink-tinted obfuscation.

Vicky, the one who imprinted on me, was like this to the hilt. Very hippy child, with some ideas that patently didnt work. Helen, who I broke up with yesterday, only has the fault that shes seriously too busy for her own good.

I've yet to meet a geek girl I like. This is due to experience of the girls on my engineering course. Out of one hundred and eighty students, three of them are female. Ones very quiet and shy. Ones a complete slag who will go with just about anyone. And the other is a bit of a mystery but still gives off that alluring atmosphere of sophisticated intelligent cocktease. And, of course, my experience with the societies that have already been mentioned.

Im not after much, just someone whos fun to be around, who i can hold a conversation with, and generally not be pissed off by them. Of course, though, the good ones are taken.

Sir Deimos, Beater of Ass.

This is mainly because women on the whole dont largely go for science, or my particularly blunt worldview, but tend to like to wrap things up in pink-tinted obfuscation.

Nice prejudice. Got some more?

Im not after much, just someone whos fun to be around, who i can hold a conversation with, and generally not be pissed off by them. Of course, though, the good ones are taken.

Oh yes. They are. Right attitude. Instead of hanging around at the university, you could just lay down in a covin, close the lid and let the undertakers do their job ;)

Of course nobody will ever want to be with you. And you gonna die lonely, as a crippled, bony, hateful man. Must be fun ;->

cu, w0lf.

Fuck off the 30 seconds posting limit!

Nice prejudice. Got some more?

Its not prejudice. Or should it be compulsory to add "In my experience" after everything we write now? My bitterness and cynicism is born of long years of being fucked over by various people. Ive found that it works, for me, so thats what I stick to. My apologies for appearing prejudiced.

Of course nobody will ever want to be with you. And you gonna die lonely, as a crippled, bony, hateful man. Must be fun ;->

Heh. Its not that bad. As is referenced elsewhere, I dont really have a problem with going home with people after a night out, but i do have a problem with finding relatively sane people to have a relationship with. Techy or not, it doesnt really matter, IN MY EXPERIENCE im not that great with relationships. Why do you think I have a website called Onemandisaster? :P

Sir Deimos, Beater of Ass.

Nice prejudice. Got some more?
Its not prejudice. Or should it be compulsory to add "In my experience" after everything we write now? My bitterness and cynicism is born of long years of being fucked over by various people. Ive found that it works, for me, so thats what I stick to. My apologies for appearing prejudiced.

Yes, that is the biggest prejudice some men have towards women. Well, those who believe such crap are just idiots who cannot see beyond the tip of their nose!

Do you think that just because you study engineering you're a smart geek? Not at all my dear, not at all. If you attract people who are like that, this doesn't mean that all the females are that way. Probably that is the only kind of girl you can get, because the others are busy with people who are more intelligent than you and less prejudiced.

Just because girls are much better in arts and literature, this doesn't mean that we are complete idiots! On my part I have to say that I do study foreign languages, and that I took some engineering courses. I took exams, and I passed them well, but I decided to change faculty because of people like you! Yes, like you! Idiots who are prejudiced towards women. There are these males who believe that they are the smartest things God has ever created, and that they can be the only ones who can use a computer excellently, that women don't understand anything about maths, physics, geometry or whatnot... Those are the kind of guys that make me sick to my stomach and make me want to throw up.

Deimos, I am really disappointed at you. I really thought that you were different than this, honestly. I think that before judging other people, or rather girls, you should look at yourself. A girl with some common sense would not date a guy like you, not even if you pay her. I think you should change your attitude a great deal before you can get a girl who can actually have some respect for you.

For now, I am nauseated. I think you should reconsider your position, because what you stated about girls is definitely offensive, and not true at all.

Un bacio è un'apostrofo rosa scritto tra le parole "ti amo".

Deimos, I imagine what you were trying to say was that your typical female isn't interested in math and science. Statistically, this is something that cannot be denied. However, I wouldn't go to suggest that this is merely due to the fact that one has a vagina and the other has a penis.

Many differences placed between men and women are fake. Differences were added because it helps to attract a mate to be more 'feminine' or 'masculine' than the other. Now times are now, and to be female means you have to be a nurse, play with dolls, and dress in pink. And tom-boys are notorious for not liking to do such things. It isn't because they are dysfunctional, but because girls and boys are very similar mentally at a young age. I would go far as to say if you gave a little boy only dolls and pink dresses to play with, they'd grow to like it like a girl would.

Though most people probably scoff to read that, because nobody likes to hear of a person playing the 'role' of the other counterpart. We're all brainwashed in a way that men are supposed to act one way and women another. I didn't even make this realization until I reached Italy. In America, while there is this distinction, it isn't as strong. At a certain point, when you are an adult, you are just as capable professionally as another adult. Sex is not an issue.

Italy, in this respect, seems more behind on this. Male and female are big issues, and I suppose it doesn't help that every physical object according to the italian language must be masculine or feminine. Prejudice is still apparent here in Italy, because as far as that is concerned, it is no different than america was about 20 years ago. 20 years ago in America, women had to get second jobs as a nurse or secretary. If they weren't, they were housewives.

So in short, what you say isn't true, Deimos. Perhaps you are much like the millions of others who have grown up with a reconceived notion of what women are and what they are capable of. If you ever have a daughter and you never teach her the sciences because she's female, can you ever really expect her to become a scientist or an engineer? That's a question I leave to you to answer.

If the world should blow itself up,the last audible voice would be an expert saying it can't be done

Many differences placed between men and women are fake.

I agree with you on this, however, IMHO it's just as wrong to assume that there are no differences at all. (Not that I'm implying you said that.) Mostly unbiased scientists have proven on more than one occasion that the female body & brain work differently than the male in many aspects. It's only the radical feminists and some do-gooders who deny that there are any differences at all. As if differences were bad (which they're not!).
The problem starts when somebody thinks the differences make them better than the others, but I like to believe that most of those partaking in this discussion are above such misconceptions.

"God is dead." - Nietzsche, 1882 "Nietzsche is dead." - God, 1900