Reading andromacha's journal

Oct 21, 2007 22:00 # 45143

andromacha *** posts about...

Home alone

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Tonight is the first night I spend in our new house alone... Well I should say alone with the cat I guess. That's right. Hawkeye, my lovely husband, has gone to Rimini today and will be back only tuesday night. Tomorrow I arranged for a friend to come by and sleep here... we'll have a girls night out or something like that, but as far as tonight is concerned... well for now I just can't sleep :P

Being here alone is so incredibly sad. Maybe most of you will think I am totally crazy to think this. It's just that I am used to have him with me every night, and I can't help but feeling lonely. Before getting married I lived with my parents, and their bedroom was but 2 feet away from mine. My mom has spent her youth being away from my dad (he worked in Milan and would get back on Friday nights to leave again on Monday mornings), and I honestly don't know how she managed. I find it totally unbearable. Maybe the problem is just that I am not used to sleeping alone. Sometimes I had to sleep alone in my parents' house though; it happened that they were away for a trip or something, and I would stay there alone. I didn't particularly like it, but it wasn't so bad.

Now, on the contrary, everytime Hawkeye leaves I feel like he was getting back to America, and the idea of seeing him go drills a tear in my heart. It is so incredibly sad; it just takes me back to not but a couple of years ago when we weren't married yet, and in order to see each other we had to go back and forth. The times in which we had to say goodbye were so terrible. There hasn't been a time in which I haven't cried like a fountain :P Maybe I am simply possessive, I don't know. Surely our relationship has never been a normal one; no normal couple has to face this kind of emotional distress (or at least that shouldn't happen) that we had to endure everytime one of us had to leave to get back to his/her own continent.

I know it is crazy, but I still feel like that. This is the second time he goes to Rimini for work, and the first time I felt basically the same. Maybe I felt a little better just because I had actually gone to sleep at my parents' place. But tonight I just couldn't do that. We have a cat now, and I don't think it would have been nice to leave the poor Luna home alone.

I tried to sleep with her. I took her in the bedroom with me, and for a while she sat down beside my head, letting me pet her. But after about 15 minutes she started to get excited and hyper and started to play with the bedspread. Of course it would have been impossible to sleep like that, and so I was forced to put her back in the place where she normally sleeps. I guess that she needs to be a little older before we can let her sleep in the room with us.

The moral of the story is that I am totally alone now. I just hope I will start to feel very sleepy so I can probably fall asleep without thinking much about the space that is not filled in my bed tonight. So goodnight Netalive; I will hopefully see you again tomorrow, or if not, very soon anyway.

Italy no longer accepts illegal immigrants. Mr. B sink their boats!!!!!!!

Oct 21, 2007 23:39 # 45144

ginsterbusch *** can sympathize...

Re: Home alone

Well, there's at least one person that can relate - me.

When compared to two years ago, we didnt see each other for at least 3 weeks - and by now, if you see each other not for 2 days, it feels just the same.

I, too, sometimes cant sleep when my significant other aint there.

Most unfair right now is, that I've still got work to do - and although I'm in the same flat with my beloved one, I am not to share the bed with her for the next two hours or so :-(

Having to fix bugs of other people and looking after the bloody cat that always tries to disturb my efforts. Like right now.


cu, w0lf.

beards are cool. every villain has one!

Oct 22, 2007 08:43 # 45150

andromacha *** replies...

Re: Home alone

and looking after the bloody cat that always tries to disturb my efforts. Like right now.

I admit it! This part made me laugh quite a bit. Probably because I can relate totally with you. Luna is so sweet but sometimes she just drives me crazy. Today for example I was trying to study in the kitchen, and she was sitting on the chair next to mine. At a certain point - I don't know what she thought - she decided she probably wanted attention or something. So she jumped on the table and sat right in the middle of my book. Tried to move her... 5 minutes later, same story. Moved her again, and there she is again.

I pet her a little bit, and she went back to her chair, but as soon as she saw me opening the book again... well there she came up again :P I think she's missing Neil as well. This morning she ate almost nothing, and she's been in a cuddly mood in the past 24 hours. Neil and I figured yesterday that somehow she knew he was going to leave, because she kept being in his lap, wanting to be pet. And after he left, she was looking for him. Yesterday night I wore his pajamas so that she could smell him, and she came right in my lap to be pet. And even now she's sittin on his chair. I think she misses him just as much as I do. I gotta admit though that she has been very sweet to me; she saw that I was sad, and came purring to cheer me up. She's such an adorable kitten!

Italy no longer accepts illegal immigrants. Mr. B sink their boats!!!!!!!

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