Reading Love and Lifesense

Well, she knows about it, but she hasn't seen it. For some reason, my car has a super exotic feel to it... I do believe it's the red paint, and it looks freaking amazing, I tell ye'. Anyway, right now I'm battling insurance rates on the damn thing.

I should be ashamed of myself.

HI, I had the same situation! me and my X were friends for 7 months before we started to date, now the 7 months of our friendship wasn't really pretty, the first few months we hang out was great, but somwhere along the road my feelings to her grew, let's just say I fell in love with her! As soon as i relized it, i couldn't hold it in me for anylonger, so I told her that I had feelings for her and that I could no longer be her friend....... well she rejected my offer and started to ignore me for a while, so I had no choice but to move on and so i did! a month went by and she started to call me again and saying that she missed me and all and she said let's just be friends, I loved her n i tought to myself I'd rather have this person in my life as friend then not having her at all! After that everything was great till new years night lol That night I kissed her! and told her that I can't deal with the friendship BS nomore. She rejected me once more and i told myslef that was it! i even broke my cell so she wouldn't call me and bug me! two weeks went by n she found me and told me that she can't live without me and that she want's to be love of my life! We dated for year and that was the best year out of my entire life! now we had plans for out future and dreams, we loved and cared for eachother untill recently. She left me for a guy who's a co-worker of hers....... I went to her work, Humiliated with flowers and bagging her not to do this... but she still did it to me! now it's been two months since that! last friday she showed up at my house crying and feeling pretty sad about what happend, she said that she can't stop thinking about me and that she still loves me! so she and i went out had fun talked about stuff and spent a night together, she left the following morning and wrote me a message saying that I should forget about her and that she made a mistake by coming and seeing me....... now on thanksgiving day she calls me nonestop and left me 5 voice messages, that she want's to hear my voice and that she misses me lol NOW can anybody HELP me with this situation????? I have to be at work in 3hrs and it's 2 am in the morning, I can't sleeep, eat, think straight, I can't even sleep without having dreams about her! HELP plz

Hello thought i'd drop in and say a few things that'd help out here.....

Ok first things first... With the ''i can't just be friends'' comment, yes that is true with some ppl.... With a few of my ex's we tried to have a friendship and just cause we couldn't handle knowing that the other was with someone else the past night.... We still cared about each other so much that it was making us sick to know that so we had to just break everything off..... It killed me doing that but we had to....

Second... I've just gotten out of a relationship like that to where we kept breaking up and getting back together time after time.... It just got so painful and dare i say boring cause it was happening so often..... We cared about each other but were just trying to change so much that we couldn't handle it.... That and we were in different cities and had no real way to go see each other.... We've tried so hard to be friends cause we like and respect one another but it just got too painful for both of us..... My heart still hurts because of that one.... I don't honestly know when i'll try getting close to another girl....

Third... Aynjell, i know that it's hard being just friends but it does sometimes pay off big.... It shows to her that no matter what she's going through, you'll always there for her... That she can open up to you and share her deepest and most intimate thoughts... That you'll always listen to what she has to say and show her that you can treat women like ppl and not just objects... That will really show to her that you are the right person to be with and that you are dedicated to her and only her.... Keep tryin man... It'll pay off...

Well i'm out of here for now.... Tell me how it goes man.... Peace and love!!!

~Scott. W. Devries

Take a XANAX, calm down..put your feet on planet EARTH and be smart nstead ofthe sucker you might be

Ok, I have read the entire thread on this topic/dilemma. First the insult...are you people in freakin high school?!?!?!?!

Second, dude, without ALL the nasty details (and I don't think we want them anyway) there is no way to help you with only one side of a situation, but it very obviously appears from what you describe, that she is using you. She's a user. She wants things (not you), and when you deprive her of them, she gets upset. Changing the password on YOUR account that you shared with her was a hint.

As for you "testing" a relationship? Grow up man! Here is the thing, if you are standing in front of a snake, and you know the snake will bite if you poke it, do you test it by poking it with a stick? Relationships and love are the same thing, if you already understand what they are, why do you have to test it?

Third (and the reason nobody needs any details of your relationship with her), friendship is the foundation to any healthy relationship. A friendship is supposed to be the first thing developed in a relationship, and if romance grows out of the friendship, then great. if not, no big deal IF the friendship is truly important to you.

Things born out of friendship:
trust
respect
general feeling of happiness
confidant

Now if you add romance to that friendship, you have a healthy romantic relationship. If you subtract(or never add) romance to the relationship, what are you left with? Get the point? Honestly, I don't think you two are even friends, just acquaintances. At best, mild friends.

This BS about "I can't just be friends with her" is just that, BS. Even if you think you love her, coupled with the assumption you understand what love is, you can still be her friend, you can still love her, and you can still do things for her, be there for her, and show your love for her, WITHOUT her doing anything, since after all...love is your gift to her, no strings attached, hence the definition of unconditional love (no strings attached). Unless of course you think love is just a physical thing, in which case, ya...you are fucked.

If you take this information, and look at the relationship differently (with this information in mind) ask yourself, is SHE portraying any of the aspects of a friendship or romantic relationship? You see, relationships involve two people doing the same thing..."giving" to each other, giving their friendship, their respect, being trustworthy, giving their love (if its a romantic relationship). I don't see or hear about any of this in your description of the relationship.

Look dude, you are in college, an adult, act like one. Even if you are the only one acting like one. Get your priorities straight and stop dicking around with a girl who is dicking you around.

And best of luck with all you do.
Rocket

As I just noticed this situation occurred last year, and you are probably well past it now, just ignore my post all together:D

This post was edited by Rocket on Nov 29, 2007.