Reading harold_maude's journal

Sometimes I wonder if the whole idea of what we get when we get what we get, (say that 50 times and see if your tongue hurts)
is based on what shit brakes and how much is falling apart.

Maybe it's all just one big lottery that none of us have any access to. We are just part of it.

These thoughs have to do with my washing machine breaking down.
A couple of weeks ago it was the water freezing and to make sure we had water again, the land lords kindly decited to have it done, and then told me about it.
I paid the bill.

A friend who has of the last few months become somewhat of a moochie pest is leaving town tomorrow and came to use the washer and dryer.
Well, like alot of people out there he overloaded the washer and broke it.
As soon as he realized what he had done, he left, then I found it. He never said shit about it, didn't appoligize or offer to help get it fixed.
Really nice guy.
This is the same guy who has crashed here several nights.
We have had long talks about much...and then he turns into this needy mooch that doesn't seem to think about what he's doing.
I'm glad he's leaving town. Hope he stays gone for a very long time.

I don't understand it. I'm generous with much and all that seems to happen is that the people who I am generous with turn on me and become a problem.
So I end up having to basicly kick them out of my house.
I'm not made of money, and shit costs money.

This happened out at the farm with one of the roommates, the one who is still there from when we were there, he used our laundry soap, never bought groceries but was more than happy to eat the food I would buy and everything else that has to go into running a house hold.

Maybe I should have titled this once again around another mulberry bush...

Now, until I can figure out how to budget for a washer, I'm doing the wash by hand in the tub.
At least work clothes. The rest I can take to the nearest laundry mat this weekend.
Oh joy! more work added to the list.
I'm sooooo happy that I get to do this...

I'm trying to have a sense of humor about all of this, but all I want to do with these folks that end up taking my generousity to mean that I think it's ok if they just start using me until what and when ever, is beat the crap out of all of them with a very large stick.

That's how I'm feeling right now.

I love my generous nature. But it would seem that being generous is a bad thing to do in this world, or at least this town.
I don't want to become some hard bitch with a steel blade for a toungue.
What is the point of that? I'd end up getting ripped up by karma for being like that, but I'm not sure what else is left as an option.

These people don't listen, by the way, so talking to them, which I have, is a pointless activity.

Ah well, enough bitching for one night...I gotta figure out how to deal through this.

Generosity is a good thing. The only problem with it is that it will always, always attract leeches.
I'm currently living with somebody who constantly asks me for things. When I lend him something, it comes back either dirty or broken. On two occasions, stuff of mine that I've put in the kitchen for everybody to use has disappeared for several weeks and then reappeared with a handle missing or dirty beyond any humanly possible cleaning. When I buy him stuff (he doesn't have a car) he gets his stuff but getting my money back is one hard piece of work.
The other day I talked to him and got a response among the lines of "yeah whatever, now quit whining and leave me alone." (He didn't say that explicitly, but...)
I figure there's not much I can do besides not lending him stuff anymore. He'll come asking for something every now and then, I say no, and that's it. I'm also determined to get back the money he still owes me, plus the cost of something he broke and I had to replace. It's a small amount of money not really worth bothering, but goddamn, it's the principle of the thing.

As for the other people I'm living with, they borrow my stuff, they say thanks and take good care of it, and occasionally they return the favour. Just the way it should be.

It's all about sorting out the parasites.

"God is dead." - Nietzsche, 1882 "Nietzsche is dead." - God, 1900

This post was edited by null on Mar 14, 2008.

It would be nice if there was human leeche repellant. I'd have a couple of cases stashed in my house if there was.
As soon as you spray it in their direction they start getting kind of squirmy and then they start backing up, and then they go away.
Ah if only!

I completely agree with you about getting your money from this guy. He needs to take responsiblity for distroying things that don't belong to him.
My mom always taught me that when someone lets you use their things, you return it in the same condition they let you borrow it in.
I've always been like that. It never occured to me to do otherwise.

I've had run in's with people like your housemate and this other guy before, and always before I just let it go, because my feeling has always been it will catch up to them, and when it does they will stop doing that because the lesson will be hard enough to teach them to do something different.

The really crazy thing about yesterday is that this guy up until about 4 months ago wasn't like this.
He was someone I trusted and would have trusted with my life.
I don't know what happened to him.
Now, I don't want him to come back to this town.
What makes me the angriest about all of this is that he never said anything about it, or appoligized or anything, he just gathered up his shit, um clothes and left.

I hate that more than the other, because that is more dishonest and dishonoring than the other.

I really do hope your housemate gets hit with a severe case of guilt to the point of loosing sleep until he makes things right.
Kind of like little crawly bugs that won't stop biting kind of thing. The stress would be gone and he would stop being so needy and such a bastard about the way he takes care of what people let him use.
Is he the same way with the other people who live there as well?

This post was edited by harold_maude on Mar 14, 2008.

It would be nice if there was human leeche repellant.

Haha, I'm gonna have to agree with you. It certainly would solve many of humanity's problems. But alas, I think the only thing that keeps them away is the lack of occasions to score free stuff. So you're either a tight-fisted wary ass or you have to deal with the occasional parasite. Oh well, who ever said life was easy...

Is he the same way with the other people who live there as well?

I couldn't even tell. He'd probably be, if they lent him as much stuff as I did. Not to sound self-aggrandising but I'm a rather generous person and thus a prime target for leeches.
I believe he's vaguely aware of the situation though, he's been maintaining a noticably lower profile around me lately. (Still, that doesn't change the fact that he owes me money which I'm going to collect by whatever means necessary.)

As for your guy, maybe he is too ashamed to apologize (which implies asking for forgiveness)... that still wouldn't earn him a medal, but at the very least he'd be responsible enough to feel bad about what he did. (Haven't we all done something we rather not talk about at some point in our life?)
That's just a wild-ass guess though. At any rate, I'm glad for you that you appear to have gotten rid of 'your' leech. Do make sure that it stays that way!

"God is dead." - Nietzsche, 1882 "Nietzsche is dead." - God, 1900

Your right about "who ever said life was fair?"

I need to be reminded of that ever so often.

I hope the guy your dealing with gets a heavy dose of wake up call. That would be the best thing.
I have no doubt that if that doesn't happen that you will do what you need to, so that he will be responsible and you'll get your money back.

As to the guy that broke my washer, I'm not worried about him trying to show up here any time soon.
I have the distinct impression that what is waiting for him at the place where he is going is something that will ultimately be for his benefit. It will change him.
And that is a good thing.

The hardest part of all of this is that this guy was someone I trusted. I opened my house and heart to someone who needed sanctuary. And at first it was fine.
For a long time it was fine. Something happened to him, and he ended up burning me.
If this had been someone I lived at the same place with but didn't have a close relationship with it would have pissed me off, but not hurt me like this has.

The washer will get replaced. But I lost my friend. In place of my friend, I found a leech.
That's going to take time to deal with.