Reading harold_maude's journal

Tonight, today, yesterday and several days before that I have been living in extreem pain.
Inspite of the pain, or maybe because of it, I have been trying to focus else where, trying to get lost in things that will keep my mind off of how much pain I'm in.

The pain I'm talking about is due to 6 teeth in my head that are broken.
The last 5 have happened because the stress level in my life of so much change, have been a result of grinding my teeth in my sleep.
The last few days have been filled with moments of searing pain, as I know that there are nerves exposed in some of the broken places.

Inspite of the awesome meditations that I've had here lately, the pain comes back after and is louder than when I went in to meditation.
I have no choice but to go to the dentist.
I have no idea how I will finacially be able to do that since
what I make at my job barely gets me from pay check to paycheck now.
But if I don't go, I will end up not being able to eat and end up starving for lack of being able to eat.

I've been searching for a way to heal my teeth myself, which may sound crazy, but the idea of facing huge bills that will force starvation anyway in favor of having a roof over my head is something that has made me search to find an answer to heal myself.
Besides, I don't like doctors, or hospitals, or dentists.

But after yesterday and the searing pain and again today as I tried to eat very carefully, I realized I have no choice.
I don't know what will happen.
I'm scared of the bills and not being able to take care of them.
But again I have no choice.
My only hope is to find a dentist that will work with me.
This amount of pain added to everything else is nothing short of torture.