Reading harold_maude's journal

Now it's a rare thing for me to write poetry anywhere but on a particular site on the net that is an interactive poetry site.
I've been signing my first name to the peices I have written lately.

And since I woke up with words and immages flying through my head and the remenants of my dreams flashing here and there, I knew it would be a good time to take that mix and see what happens, poeticly that is.

I'll think up a title later...

You lay there decorated in peices of sheet and blanket.
A still life titled "My Lover's Dream".
The somewhere where you are is filled with majic.
The kind that that wispers secret things
delicious and horrible things that vanish with daylight.

Do you remember me there? Am I the venus of your dreamscape?
Your face motionless, speaks only of a raptured stillness.
Sleep is your lover now.
Hypnotized by it's warm embrace, you lay there
drenched in the sweet mercy of sleep.

I watch, mezermized by bits of the sun
temporarily tatoo'd on your skin.
Ink made of light, pierces you skin and holds you fast.
Sleep's oblivion holds you now,
the death of waking hours.
And someday sleep may not give you back to the daylight.

For a few brief moments, in all of our history
daylight will share you with me, drinking in your footprints
along with mine, following us, taking notes of us,
our words, what we share, what we argue about.
And maybe the only reader of our book will be the universe.

Snap shots and bits of recorded conversations play in my head.
Famous words, fancy titles and romanic declairations
encircle, decend and dance on the immages.
Suddenly, like a cliff diver, they plunge throuh the air
falling into a sea of everything we are and have been.

My eyes, detectives of detail, study your frame.
They memorize you with focused determination
so I won't forget in the days where I feel how cold it is
when your not here, or how empty and big the bed is
when I'm lost and alone in it's frame work.

But for today, this hour, this moment
the rythem of your breathing tells me
that at some moment, sleep will finally let you go.
Releasing you to daylight,
the shroud of sleep's silken magic will fall away,
vanishing into nothingness.

And for this day,as daylight holds you
so will I,
feeling sleep's kiss still fresh on your skin.
I'll drink you in while dayligt exists
as long as we exist, in each other's presence.
As long as my waking hours find you are here with me.

--------------------------------

Well, I think it's done, at least as done as it feels.
I love having two days off durring the week and I will miss that when I leave this job.
For the most part, they are mine. I can do anything I want
on thoes two days.
I end up spending at least some of the time on house work, but I can do art too, and play music and watch a movie or two if
I want. I can make cookies if I have all the ingredients.
And if I don't, I can go to the store and buy them, money
available, provided.
I can do all these things or nothing at all. I can go for walks
when the weather is nice. And for a couple of days I don't have
to punch a time clock or make a sandwhich for anyone,
or handle hot food, or someone else's money,
or be nice to people when they are in a bad mood and
I'm getting sucker punched by fly by emotions,
because I'm there doing my job and they are having a shitty day.

On my two days off I don't have to slice meat or cheese, or fill and flip a make table or clean a steam table that looks
like an abstract painting, only this abstract painting can
burn and scar skin. But the thing I love the most about what this job has been, has been the freedom to work as hard as I can simply because I can,
and push myself as far as I can just to see just how fast and efficant I can be.

I keep comming to this place,when one job ends and before another one starts, that it's
an opportunity to leap off the cliff and just go for selling
my art, having another show. But the details of when
and where are still something I haven't figured out.

I just looked at the time, and it's closing in on 8:30, and I have a full schedual today. It's the first of my two days off
and like most first days off there is a huge list of stuff that
I have to do and need to catch up on so I can sleep in tomorrow.

It's a funny thing, even with all thoes things I can do,
I never seem to be able to do them for two full days
and when I think about it, the last day I actually spent
doing art all day was Easter.
So even though I have two days off from my money producing job,
I'm doing another full time job here at home.

I really do need a vacation.

This post was edited by harold_maude on May 25, 2008.