Reading harold_maude's journal

A very good friend of mine is going through something that is tearing her apart. Her sister accused her husband of doing inapproate things with her daughter, which is not possible as I know her husband.
And why did she accuse him, because instead of the phone calls comming through my friends cell phone, they used her husbands phone to talk to their neice.

Pretty stupid reason for accusing somone of doing something they would never do, especially when the distance between the two familys is several thousand miles apart.

It would be more possible for a duck to become a moose than this man to do anything inapproate with any child, let alone his neice.
He's a man of honor. I've known him for over 20 years and there is no way he did anything that he shouldn't have.

My friend is heart broken over her sister's stupidity.
I hurt for my friends, they are more than friends, they are family to me.

I do know what she is going through. Reading the events in her blog tonight, brought back the mess at the farm, and more reciently, the two people who broke my trust this year.
Both of them I helped, and listened to. One of them spent alot of nights crashed on my couch.
I fed both of them.

And both of them turned and ran me through, my trust that is.
When it happens to you, you need people who say they love you to stand up with you, beside you.
When that doesn't happen, the world feels cold and hard.
You get beat up. And there really isn't anything you can do, except ride it out.
In all the times that my trust has been ripped to shredds, the person who says he loves me has left me hanging.

So why do I stay with someone who has left me hanging so often?
I've asked myself that question so many times, and the answer is always the same, so he can see what love that is real looks and feels like.
It finally got to the place where it didn't matter how many times he sided with someone who has thrown crap at me or broken my trust, only to find out later that I was right about the person, that always happens along with the crap that comes first, he has never appoligized for his stand.

He tells me he can't understand why I love him. He's seen me go through so much, much of it has happened and he had a chance to stop it, but didn't.
He tells me he is glad that I love him. And I do.
The option to that isn't a nice thought at all, and I don't want to go there, even with the people who have broken my trust.
I'm not interested in revenge.
I have no desire for anyone to go through the things I did.

Having them be responsible for their actions and admit they did something they shouldn't have would be nice, but with the exception of only one person who broke my trust, the rest haven't.
I don't hold my breath waiting for it to happen.

I go on because that is the only thing I can do. I continue inspite of everything going on in both aftermath of the last two people who broke my trust and now the physical stuff associated with metapause, because somewhere deep inside me I know it will catch up with them.
It will catch up to the man I'm with as well.

And when it happens, I will hear about it. I'm not sure how I will feel about it, but I do know I will hear about it.

As to my friend, time will work it's hand on her heart and she will heal, but it will take time.
In the end she will be ok.
She is a survivor and she is strong, just like me.

This post was edited by harold_maude on May 26, 2008.