Reading harold_maude's journal

Sometimes it seems that when something catches my attention, I end up getting lost in some forest, but only can manage seeing the trees.

Too many details. Too many questions, and not enough definitve proof or evidence to be able to explain anything even to myself.

That's where I've found myself with alot of different things.
Sometimes, after I've wandered off while looking at something else, I find my way back to the orginal question.
When I do, it tells me that the side track I took wasn't a bad thing at all.
Just more information on something I've been trying to understand.

The questions I had 3 years ago, I still have them now. They aren't simple questions. Some of them, alot of them actually, I have found limited information on.

Others have unfolded, ones that do have alot written about them.
The amount can be stagering.
Questions about quantum stuff, mechanics, string theory, time wave zero, how the mind works, what emotions really are, all of thoes things have lots of people writing about them, doing experiments about them. Seems they are searching too.

I've found that there are other people out there asking the same questions I am. And as I found out that they were, I was comforted by that knowledge, because it ment that I hadn't gone
off some deep end.

It told me that something is happening, especially when it's happening outside the great instituions of learning, and think tanks arn't holding cutting edge thinking anymore.

They don't know all the answers, or even all the questions, to us, to who we really are.
I asked this physist a question, about time, and I told him about the things I'd been thinking about time, and he told me that the questions I had science couldn't answer.

They don't know everything. They are just like me. Searching in merky territory looking for something, another puzzle peice, to a picture that is of us maybe in our true form.

Not clothed in a bio, chemical, shell that is in decay. But who we are underneath.
What we are to each other, what our life means after all and what part we place in cosmic events.

We are all made of star stuff. That's been common knowledge for a few years now. Science said it was so, but long before science got it's stamp out and put it on the evidence that has been around since matter and energy moved in a certian way, directed by something amazing, and unspeakable, and the most brilliant thing happened. Life happened.
That's the best way to discribe it.

Life. A single thought by you brings something into existance, it lives what ever time frame is given to that life and then it goes back to being matter and energy.

A brilliant thought might be nothing more than the birth of a star reflected in a willing and hungry mind who has been waiting and searching for that very thing for a long time.

Maybe that's what happens when all of a sudden the answer comes, maybe it's just the universe shifting just enough so things become a little clearer and we start remembering a little more about who we really are.

I don't know if any of this makes any sense, but I have taken to putting this stuff here, because for some strange reason, this place still feels like a very private place out in plain sight.