Reading harold_maude's journal

This morning feels kind of free floating. I'm not sure how I feel about this.
It's day two after the last job and I woke up at 5:30 am. I've been getting up early for so long now that it's a habbit. And it's a good one, except when I should sleep in.

Yes, I think every so often a person should sleep in. A way of telling the world, "Today is mine!"

I feel burned out today. There is alot of things I should probably be doing, but honestly, I have no energy for any of it.
I've spent so long in trying to figure out how to stretch things so that they would go further and last longer that I'm just plain burned out.

Work took alot too. Going as hard as I could every day so that I could keep proving to myself that what everyone believed about me wasn't the truth. I did this so much, that I'm burned out from that. But I know me. Just because I'm burned out doesn't mean that I won't do what I need to. It'll just be a bit slower for a while.

My muscles ache this morning. I haven't really given them any time off from work. Some weekends it was so bad that all I could do was mostly go and lay down for a while.
I remember more than one Saturday that getting out of bed was misery.

So it doesn't surprise me that this morning my muscles ache.
It tells me that I really did need to quit my job and find something else that was less intense labor wise.

I've got alot of things I need to work out and since this place has become my cave, the place where all my meanderings go, stuff that means something only to me, I suspect that I will write about what I'm experiencing for some later reference when things come up that feel really, really familiar.

I talked to two people yesterday that are as burned out with their job as I was. One of them came specifically to see me, to bounce some things off me and get my take on stuff.
That happens. Some times lots of people show up. I know that's part of my purpose here, I've been equipped for that purpose.
It's the way it is.
Which is why I have considered getting business cards with something to the effect of being a sounding board for people.
It would have to refer to me as a consultant of some kind.
Not what people have refered to me as, a sage, therapist and other things that require years of school to earn the title.

I know it's the gifts at work. They are the teachers, the healers, the wells of wisdom. I'm just the house. Sometimes it's hard to be ok with the reality that the reason people show up at my door step is because they have come for council of some kind. I'm glad I don't remember the majority of the conversations.
It would be nice on occasion to just hang out like everyone else does.
But I know good and well, that just hanging out is not something that is a common thing in my life.

Face it, I'm an odd duck with a backwards life. Everything that works out right for me comes through a backwards direction.
I'm thinking that because of that very thing, Friday the thirteenth will be my lucky day.

It would crack me up if it was. The realization that everything in my life works best when it's backwards, made me realize that how I have to approach things for my life, is completely outside any box I know of.
It's still working itself out in my head.

I think it would make sense to me if my head was on backwards or something.
At least it might feel more right if it was.

Anyway, I'm going to go have words with some dishes. I didn't get them finished last night, due to getting hit with the overwhelming need to just go to sleep, right in the middle of them, so guess what? I did. :)

So I gotta go finish them now.

Have something wonderful today ok?