Reading harold_maude's journal

It's been awhile since I wrote in my journal.

Winter is starting early this year with a vengence. With each winter that passes, the less I like it. I would love to spend the next few months hybernating like the bears do. I think it's a smart move on their part.

I went to the dental clinic on friday and had to have an absessed tooth pulled. The wonderful mix of novacain and ibuprophen and other numbing shot they put into the absessed area really made me sick. I ended up missing a day of work.

Speaking of work, I found a part time job working as a cashier in a pharmacy which feels weird considering how I feel about drug companies. I don't like them. But it's a job, and it brings money in so that I can still pay my bills.

I've been fighting depression and working to keep from falling back into the dark depths that I was in a few months back.

My mom is doing much better. She has been in an extended care facility for almost 3 weeks now. She had two falls at the end of September and that put her in the hospital. They found out she had bacterial meningitis.
We weren't sure if she was going to live or not, but my mom is a really strong woman.
She is 90 years old, and up until it happened she was very self sufficiant.

I miss talking to her. Her eyesight is not very good, and she was planning on having catarac surgery this next spring. But for what ever reason decited against it.

When my dad died in 1997 I didn't miss him at all. I was never close to him, although I had spent most of my life trying to do something that would make him happy that I was his daughter.
When I found out three weeks before he died how he really felt about children and parents, I realized I had wasted all that time waiting for something that was never going to happen.

Over the last 11 years my relationship with my mom has become a good relationship. We've had so many discussions about death and life, and since this happened with her, I haven't been able to talk to her, and it's been hard.

I'm 1200 miles away and tied to this place. I would love to get back there to see her, but there is no way that I can unless I win the lottery.

Bills do not care about family. So I send cards and letters as often as I can. It's going to be a difficult christmas this year. Christmas has been a very depressing time for a long time anyway, but this year will be more difficult I think.

With the way things are in this country now I'm very uncomfortable and unsettled about the future. We have a new president, and it's my hope that he will see this as the responsiblity that it is rather than seeing it as a place of power.

George made such a huge mess of things over the last 8 years. The garbage we are living in now is because he screwed things up all over the place.
Obama has alot of problems that George created that need fixing.
I really hope he picks a good group to surround himself with.

Only time will tell what he is like as a leader. There are fears that someone will try to assinate him because he is black.
Which depresses me because it would seem that this country is past that time.
But I guess old predijusices die hard.

I woke up this morning with the feel of a page being turned, another day. And it's still cold out there. I wish I were hybernating right now.