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Nov 23, 2008 20:54 # 46121

null rants...

Quantum of Crap

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So we went to see the latest 'Bond' flick today.

Well, it's technically a Bond movie - 'technically' in the same way that Burger King could remove the meat, bun, salad and magic sauce from a Whopper and still call the limp sliced pickle that's left a Whopper, because they own the trademark and can apply it to whatever they want.
In fact, this limp-pickle comparison might be a pretty good approach to describe the Daniel Craig-era 'Bond' films. While Casino Royale was a decent action flick, it also most definitely was not a proper Bond film. It lacked everything that's to be loved about Bond: the elegance, style, humour, expensive taste, Q, ... the only thing it has in common with previous Bond flicks is some characters' names.
Having seen Casino Royale, I expected Quantum of Solace to be a decent action flick whose main character just happened to have the same name as a famous fictional MI6 agent.

And still the movie managed to disappoint me. For two hours I watched a borderline psychopath on speed and PCP shooting his way through a story so complicated (and sometimes flimsy) that it appears incoherent more than once as the tragedy unfolds.
(There are those who argue that 'borderline psychopath' is a much more accurate description of an actual MI6 agent. That's okay. But don't show me a borderline psychopath and claim it's Bond. If the real James Bond kills, he kills in style.)

The camera handling and cutting was nothing short of god-awful. No, seriously. An epileptic with a handycam could single-handedly have produced a better and more consistent viewing experience. The "shake the camera and change the camera angle ten times a second to intensify the impression of action" trick was so overused that it was sometimes next to impossible to understand what was happening.

Craig in this flick suffers much the same fate as Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen (hell, basically everybody) in Episode III - an otherwise decent actor being devaluated by an abysmally bad script and/or director.
Also, it's probably a safe bet to say that a huge chunk of Ford's and SonyEricsson's advertising budget must have flown into the producer's pockets.

The story itself, oh well, basically it goes like this: Bond hunts and kills a few people, a few people hunt Bond but fail to kill him, and sooner or later everybody dies. In the end everything explodes and Bond, his girl and the bad guy make it out just in time. Somehow the killing of The Bad Guy solves the problem of a worldwide and very secret organisation, along with all of its plans for world domination.

If you're into cheap action flicks, go see this film. If you must see it just so you can join in on the next coffee break conversation, for all I care go see it.
If, on the other hand, you're a die-hard Bond fan and have a gold-framed Timothy Dalton poster hanging in your room, avoid Quantum of Solace. You'll end up wanting two hours of your life and your money back.

(Upside: the dead nude girl covered in oil on Bond's bed gave me & my buddy a nice idea involving our girlfriends and a yet-unknown amount of molten chocolate.)

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

This post was edited by null on Nov 23, 2008.

Nov 24, 2008 19:07 # 46123

Bunk *** throws in his two cents...

Re: Quantum of Crap

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"God is dead." - Nietzsche, 1882 "Nietzsche is dead." - God, 1900

HAHAHAHA! :D Ah, that's awesome.

... and yeah, I haven't seen that movie yet, and now I'm thinking I won't (probably rent it later). I liked Casino Royale though - wouldn't you agree that the Die Another Day was wayyyyyyyy over the top? I thought it sucked bad, and the whole thing had to be brought back down to earth.

But nonetheless, I'd agree there's a few certain things I expect from a Bond movie (class, wit, style, babes) that would be disappointing if missing.

"History is more or less bunk." - Henry Ford

Nov 24, 2008 19:37 # 46124

null agrees...

Re: Quantum of Crap

I thought it sucked bad

Ahah, yes, suck it did. But Madonna's song even more so. :-)

Casino Royale was a decent flick (albeit not a Bond flick). Unfortunately, as Quantum of Solace can be considered a sequel to Casino Royale, it's no exception to the universal "the sequel's always worse" rule.

Still, if you absolutely must see it, don't let me spoil all the fun for you. The above is just my opinion, after all.

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

This post was edited by null on Nov 24, 2008.

Nov 27, 2008 03:23 # 46128

Bunk *** replies...

Re: Quantum of Crap

The above is just my opinion, after all.

lol, well my mom saw it and thought it was great, so I now have a tough choice of which opinion to trust. ;P

"History is more or less bunk." - Henry Ford

Nov 27, 2008 12:24 # 46130

null has all the information you need...

Re: Quantum of Crap

Not at all. Remember, 1. don't believe everything that a random stranger on the internet tells you, and 2. your mom knows best what's good for you!

Plus if after seeing it you decide that it does in fact suck, I can still say 'told you so'. :-P

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

Feb 16, 2009 00:31 # 46232

Bunk *** replies...

Re: Quantum of Crap

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I ended up seeing it... for free, via a bootleg DVD. ;P I think that was the best way to see it. It wasn't terrible, but nothing special, and not worth the ridiculous price for a theatre ticket...

"History is more or less bunk." - Henry Ford

Feb 24, 2009 23:29 # 46266

zen *** replies...

Re: Quantum of Crap

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Great review. I-net stranger, or not, I still appreciate your opinion because, well, because you acually have one.

Once Fred Neitszche declared God is Dead, f*ck became the most important word in the English languag

Feb 25, 2009 08:07 # 46273

null replies...

Re: Quantum of Crap

I still appreciate your opinion because, well, because you acually have one.

Ahah, but doesn't everyone have one, it's just that most of them stink? ;-)

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

Feb 25, 2009 13:45 # 46275

zen *** replies...

Re: Quantum of Crap

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The expression is: opinions are like a-holes, everyone has one.
But that's not true, if I define an opinion as having some kind of meaning, neigh, intelligence behind it, actual thought going into it.
I mean, some people's opinion's aren't really their own, you know what I mean?

Once Fred Neitszche declared God is Dead, f*ck became the most important word in the English languag

Feb 25, 2009 15:21 # 46276

null agrees...

Re: Quantum of Crap

I mean, some people's opinion's aren't really their own, you know what I mean?

Aah, wise words as usual.

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

Feb 25, 2009 15:28 # 46277

zen *** replies...

Crappy Opinions

It seems that the whole idea of "derivative", is that it's a clone of the original. And that's the point you'd made about the derivative abomination of a Bond Flick.
It's there in name only--phoned the rest in.

Once Fred Neitszche declared God is Dead, f*ck became the most important word in the English languag


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