Reading Funny Stuff

What is Natty Ice?
A few will recognize the above link. It appeared: HERE originally.

In an effort to define "a 4aught o' Natty Ice", or the Natural Ice Lager phenomena, I was hunting for the correct reference. I could say it's made by anheiser bush (intentionally misspelt); which goes to say alot.
I could point out the fact that it's 5.9% alcohol by volume--equating to 12 proof. Some brandies don't have that much booze in them. Without a doubt, it beats it's competition on the shelves next to it, often.
I could rave about the price, how it's very reasonably priced. A 40-ounce bottle hovers around $2. So that, and a $1 "nip" of 100 proof Captain Morgan, makes it drinkable, and gets me tight.
I could easily remark how it's available in most convenience stores that sell alcohol. Each time I know what I've got with this golden beauty.

About this so-called "liquid crack," it's important to mention that the Ice in its name is not merely a marketing ploy. It's an instruction. At all times, keep it iced. Do not let it get worm, or it becomes unfriendly fast.
I imagine the way they create this noxious concoction is the same way that one would train a vicious fighting dog. First you have to beat the dog into submission, and starve it of anything nutritious and delicious, and throw in a hog's head every once and a while, and voila, you have Natty Ice.

So I have been introduced to Natty Ice, and now you have too. But until you've drunken it, you haven't fully been introduced to, uh, seduced by its charms.
However, you might have the good sense, at this point, to stay away from it. Ok, my job here is done.
However, maybe you're on the fence about Beaten Dog Lager, as it were. At this point I'll direct you to the Naddy Ice link. Most of these well-spoken critics have a succinct, and adroit description of their experiences. It should provide informative, amd educational, and very entertaining.
I've posted a few of my favorites below:

i think its fairly obvious that anyone who rates natty ice a 10 is clearly under the age of 21...and i am right there with you. natty ice is not a beer you drink every day, its a beer you drink only on special occasions when you want to enter an enraged, blackout drunk. Because somehow, someway the great makers of natty ice were able to pack three beers and a shot into just one delicious can. Natty Ice: The beer that makes you fight your friends.

--Review from The Palace by The Palace
*****

people definitely respect you when you roll in carrying 2 24's of natty ice. if you roll in with 2 24's of non-ice beer, people aren't gonna respect you. all of you who said that natty ice is smooth, refreshing, and crisp are right on the money. it is nearly impossible to get drunk off "regular" 4% homo beer. a good alternative are hurricane cans, they are only $3 for a 6 pack.

Review from BT 5.9 ICE by BT 5.9 ICE
*****

Unreal - I got oblitereated on this all summer 2001 in Nantucket - 6 dollars - 12 cans - i great night of streaking and blackouts - and a cracking hangover. The cure - some cold Naddy! WARNING - so drink warm - drink cold and fast with your eyes and nose closed and you`ll go to bed at 2 with a 10 and wake up at 10 with a 2!

Review from Chops by Chops
*****

I did the math, and 1 12oz Natural Ice, or "DIESEL" as we like to call it, has the same alcohol content as 2 shots of anything 35%, which is about .7 oz.

Review from Agusta Niel by Agusta Niel
***

I think I should be making funny, pithy comments below each person's quote, but no, I can't match them. Let 'em stand just as they are.

Once Fred Neitszche declared God is Dead, f*ck became the most important word in the English languag

This post was edited by zen on Jan 22, 2009.

So you finally found your way to real beer?

Most europeans wouldnt consider American beer as such. Me too, btw ;)
A standard German beer does have about 4 to 5.4 percent alcohol per volume. My favorite beer, Augustiner Helles Vollbier, does have 5.6 - other favorites of mine reach up much higher: Paulaner Salvator: 7.3, Elephant Beer: 7.5, Faxe Extra Strong / Black Can: 10.

Mixing mead with standard German lager or Pils beer might be counted to that list, too. Called Odinstrunk, my favorite drink when I'm at the Casa Noctis in Karlsruhe.

cu, w0lf.

Fuck off the 30 seconds posting limit!

This post was edited by ginsterbusch on Jan 27, 2009.

Woot!! The Augustiner helles Vollbier is my favorite too!!! Here we find the 50 cl bottles at about 2 euros (sob), so I keep it for "special occasions".

I have to say that what I consider a good beer is a beer that has more than 5% of alcohol. Beck's is also one of my favorite. Then of course, how can I not mention the Italian ones? Moretti, Peroni and Nastro Azzurro. Moretti is the best. Especially Moretti Doppio Malto: it's almost 7% of alcohol and it is just awesome.
When I was younger I would drink only Kronenbourg 1664, and I honestly don't know how I could like that. Now I really dislike it.

There are some American beers that are somewhat nice, but... they have to be frozen cold otherwise I feel like I am drinking dirty water. Budweiser is no exception. If it's not cold, I hate it. According to me, beer is ONLY German, Irish, British and Italian. With a difference: the British beer is best if not served cold, because it's more aromatic and if it's cold you cannot fully appreciate it.

I like some Ceres every now and then, but lately when I am at the store and I want beer I go for the Italian ones: they cost less (of course me being in Italy) and they are good. A good beer for me doesn't have to taste sweet. It has to be a little bitter!! Yummy bitter beer. Different matter for the helle beers. Wow I have just proven I am an alcoholic?

The fact is that I prefer beer over wine (depends on what I am eating tho of course), and I am a conosseur (wonder if it's spelled like that? I've always detested French :P) of this wonderful God nectar. Don't call the psychiatrist... yet :D

Un bacio è un'apostrofo rosa scritto tra le parole "ti amo".

Woot!! The Augustiner helles Vollbier is my favorite too!!! Here we find the 50 cl bottles at about 2 euros (sob), so I keep it for "special occasions".

On your next visit to Germany, we gonna fill you up with this yellow "gold" ;)

cu, w0lf.

Fuck off the 30 seconds posting limit!

Mmh, a beer tasting in southern Germany? Do keep me updated :-)

"God is dead." - Nietzsche, 1882 "Nietzsche is dead." - God, 1900

'Course... you think we'd let your white Swiss butt to sit on your couch?! You will have to come too!! ;)

Un bacio è un'apostrofo rosa scritto tra le parole "ti amo".

I suppose that'd make a great beer if I were out to get drunk. I guess part of the enjoyment of drinking beer is the little high you get after several, though I personally would never drink that much. I suppose if I wanted to get drunk, I'd buy the cheapest stark liquor sold in the supermarket and chug. Now if I wanted to avoid seizures and/or choking on my own vomit on my way of getting drunk, I'd prefer drinking something more pleasant.

I've found I actually enjoy beers like Corona or Miller. As Elena wrote, they'd have to be ice cold. German beers are exceptionally good, though I've found Danish beers to be quite decent as well. American beers have a reputation for being weak, but I suppose it really gains this reputation from the more common American beers sold in Europe like Budweiser. We actually have our fair share of strong lagers and ales.

If the world should blow itself up,the last audible voice would be an expert saying it can't be done