Reading jael's journal

Life should be good right now. No. Scratch that, life is good.

I'm single again. It had been almost two years until we both finally realized this isn't going anywhere, I guess we were over a while ago, neither of us wanted to admit it since we actually do love each other and love spending time together, but we were just not a good fit as lovers.

I might have scored myself an internship, I have a few pet projects that have finally gotten wheels on them. And I just decided to undertake another project (for university) that (if it works out) is bigger than me.

So life should be good right.. I've got a few things going for me, I'm meeting new people constantly.. When I was in a relationship I felt trapped as I needed my own space to do things, to start my project.

And now I have.. but.. it was a lot more different to what I thought it would be.

I'm happy when I'm around people, but the minute i get home I feel lost.

I don't cook as much as I used to. I get lost in my thoughts most of the time and as a result of that, I can cause my own anxiety attacks.

Being left with your own mind is not really a good thing. I dread the days I have on my own and wished that I timetabled my university to be everyday instead of just 3 days a week.

Maybe I'm just getting used to being single.

It's just ... on some days coming home to an empty house is shit.

*insert something profound/witty/humorous here*

It had been almost two years until we both finally realized this isn't going anywhere, I guess we were over a while ago, neither of us wanted to admit it since we actually do love each other and love spending time together, but we were just not a good fit as lovers.

Well well .. let's just say: It's been somehow the same with me and my by now since 8 months gone beloved one. Although it's not the "good fit", but probably some lacks of mine and her, that tend to get in the way and crash the whole happy thing over and over again :-/

Being left with your own mind is not really a good thing. I dread the days I have on my own and wished that I timetabled my university to be everyday instead of just 3 days a week.

Well well .. Probably not working but studying is kinda harder if you're just coming out of a relationship. For me, it's "just" jumping deeeeply into my job.

Maybe I'm just getting used to being single.

I hope I never ever get used to that .. 8o
The only thing I dont understand by now is: How have I done before my long-term relationship(s)? With the sex and everything? 8-?

It's just ... on some days coming home to an empty house is shit.

Move into a shared flat - or open up one yourself. Should help avoiding this problem. I'm gonna search a cat-friendly one after having established my business somewhat (BTW: Is my sentence still correct english?? Doesnt sound like that, thou :-/).

cu, w0lf.

Fuck off the 30 seconds posting limit!

I apologise for taking so long to reply.

Well well .. let's just say: It's been somehow the same with me and my by now since 8 months gone beloved one. Although it's not the "good fit", but probably some lacks of mine and her, that tend to get in the way and crash the whole happy thing over and over again

Relationships are never easy, the one thing I did learn though, is an open line of communication and the acceptance of your loved one's personality. It's a hard hard thing. But with the right person, it should come naturally, I didn't say easily. But the flow would be easier.. I would imagine.

For me, it's "just" jumping deeeeply into my job.

I agree, that's pretty much where I'm at right now, if I'm alone, I go out, work, or call up some friend I haven't met for a while. God the mind is a scary place isn't it?

How have I done before my long-term relationship(s)? With the sex and everything? 8-?

Haha! Find a friend with benefits?
Don't get me wrong I like being single, but I like loving someone more. But at the moment, I guess I have to satisfy myself with ... *cough cough* where did my double AA batteries go?

Just kidding :P

Move into a shared flat - or open up one yourself.

Well at the moment my lease is until early next year, so I'm going to be looking for a house in December. Breaking the contract now would probably cost me more money and my location is very very very good for the price I'm paying. That is probably the only reason I haven't wanted to move from here.

and your English was perfect. =)

*insert something profound/witty/humorous here*

Relationships are never easy, the one thing I did learn though, is an open line of communication and the acceptance of your loved one's personality. It's a hard hard thing. But with the right person, it should come naturally, I didn't say easily. But the flow would be easier.. I would imagine.

Well .. these both were there. I guess I just didnt change some faults auf mine quick enough, as I am the one who mostly is too slow. Actually I'm pretty sure of this. The big other reason - at least for her I guess - for quitting this whole partnership was my (and thus her) uncertain future. Back then, I didnt see farer than maybe half a year or so - I did know I'd do this and that in two or three years, but it didnt really reach my inner self, didnt make "click", as we say in Germany.

After the big break-up, I wanted to make sure this situation is not going to happen anymore, by getting myself sure about what I'm going to do AKA where do I go from here, what are my future goals for at least the next 5 years or so.

And the winners are: Freelancing the professional way, moving to a bigger city, establishing myself there job-wise and then maybe doing the big jump moving over to Hamburg or at least near-by.

Haha! Find a friend with benefits?
Don't get me wrong I like being single, but I like loving someone more. But at the moment, I guess I have to satisfy myself with ... *cough cough* where did my double AA batteries go?

Just kidding :P

I thought I had a female "friend with benefits", but she currently is wrapped with self-doubt about her husband - she loves him, he loves her, but he aint no good in bed - so I have to look for someone else :D

About that electrical friend of yours: You happen to be a girl - probably easier than with us males; guess we oughta use the nice toy in the can .. :D

As long as your hands aint broken, it aint a problem :D

cu, w0lf.

Fuck off the 30 seconds posting limit!