Reading andromacha's journal

Oct 25, 2010 13:12 # 46835

andromacha ***

Guess who's back?!

I missed this place!! Yes, I did. And I admit that I've been checking in and out and noticing how there wasn't so much movement at all, I have refrained from posting in this past what... year? But I am back, and I intend on revamping this place... Let's rebuild what we had, shan't we? I promise to try to be more active, and I hope to see more and more posts from now on.

Italy no longer accepts illegal immigrants. Mr. B sink their boats!!!!!!!

Oct 27, 2010 05:14 # 46839

ginsterbusch *** replies...

Re: Guess who's back?!

Well .. we will see.

cu, w0lf.

beards are cool. every villain has one!

Oct 27, 2010 08:28 # 46840

andromacha *** replies...

Re: Guess who's back?!

We'll see what? Is it a challenge, Wolf?! :D
How should I update my personal journal? Let's see...

I currently don't have a very decent job... I only teach English 8 hours a week to adults two days a week. I work from 6:15 to 10:30 on Tuesday and Thursday. Work is at about 40 km from home, so I have to drive for about 40 minutes to get there, and by the time I get back home it is about 11:20 and... I still have to eat!!!

In the meantime I am constantly looking for a job that would require my attention during the day so that I can bring home some decent money. For my English classes I am paid well... it's about a thousand per course (and each course has 60 hours), but the problem is that every course is funded by the province, so I am not paid until the province pays my employer. For example, I finished a course in September, and I haven't been paid for it yet... hopefully before the end of the year I will see some money, but it is not 100% certain.

Neil still works for the same software house, and fortunately his working environment is quite good, so he likes it there. From January he should see his salary increased (not by much), because it will be his third year of apprenticeship, and according to the rules there is an increase on the third year, and on the last year.

I've set up my cosmetic company for mineral make-up but things aren't going so well, especially because of the high shipping rates that I offer to my customers. Unfortunately couriers are expensive, and if you don't grant them a high monthly traffic they won't give you a low rate. So now I am thinking about using a simple signed for with the postal service. This way the mail is still tracked, but at least it is cheaper, and maybe I will see some sale boost.

I think this is about it... that's what my life looks like by now. What about you all old naoiees? Any news in your life?

Italy no longer accepts illegal immigrants. Mr. B sink their boats!!!!!!!

Nov 04, 2010 04:49 # 46844

harold_maude *** replies...

Re: Guess who's back?!

Seems this place is calling and we are wandering back...:) nice to see you.

Nov 08, 2010 15:51 # 46883

andromacha *** replies...

Re: Guess who's back?!

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Yes, it is true... I think that we are all busy with our lives, and years pass by... When you're a teenager you have for sure more free time, less things to worry about, and you can afford spending more time on the Internet, more time posting about this and that...

Since I got married things have become more hectic for me, but not only for me, also for my husband. The keywords are work work work or you won't make it. Money doesn't bring happiness, or so they say... well but it surely leads the way to happiness unfortunately. Now I don't have so much of a job, because I teach English at night in some adult courses, but then during the day I try my best to be a good housewife. Sometimes I comply to my duties, sometimes I comply less.

And so, while before my mom was in charge of everything (even though I did help her with things around the house) now I find myself being the one who has to do everything to ensure that the house is somewhat clean, the laundry is done, things don't get too dusty and so on.

It took me a good while to adjust to the new reality, I have to admit. Ironing shirts was the thing that got me the most :P And it was something that I would never ever do before getting married. I mean, my mom would take care of the ironing, and even if I helped her she was still in charge of ironing my dad's shirts. But now, if I want to make sure that my husband goes to work in a decent way with ironed shirts, I have to make sure I do my chores.

So, long story short... I have had less and less time for myself, and I am trying finally to keep up with everything still allowing some free time to dedicate to the activities I want to do. And this is how I allowed myself to return and finally dedicate some time to this community again.

Italy no longer accepts illegal immigrants. Mr. B sink their boats!!!!!!!

Nov 08, 2010 16:50 # 46884

harold_maude *** replies...

Re: Guess who's back?!

Marriage does change the landscape alot. It's nice that things have settled down a bit for you so it gives you some time for you. That is important to staying happy, or at least have something close to that.

That's something us women have been fighting for a very long time.

I feel empathy with your feelings about work and money. It's enough to make a body feel like they are always on the edge of some cliff.

I beg to differ with you about teaching english being not so much of a job. I think teaching is a big job and it's an important one too. Your actually doing two jobs now. Only one of them do you get paid for. I was thinking the other day if I had to pay someone for what I do in my house job, I'd be spending alot of money.
My theory is that if both people bring money into the house than both people need to share the up keep and cleaning that running a house requires.
Taking care of all the things that keeping a house clean and all the other work involved, it's a real job that requires real work. Just because you don't pull a paycheck from it, doesn't change what it is.
My other theory is that all the people living in a house are all responsible to help take care of it.
As you have discovered, when one person does it all, in the long run it doesn't really help anyone else.

I now tend to think of things like doing dishes and cooking and doing laundry and going to the store to buy groceries and taking care of all the financial records and the list goes on, as my voluntary contrabution to the communal living enviorment. That makes it easier to not feel like I do about it.

The only time I actually like ironing is durring the winter. It helps to keep me warm. Durring the summer ironing is nasty work. Have you seen those irons that are steamers that take out all the wrinkles while the clothes are on hangers.
I got to use one and they are awesome. You just hang the clothes up and run the iron over it and it's done.
I'm pretty sure that you can find them on the net and find out where to get one.

Anyway, I'm glad you found a way to have more time so you could come here again. :)

Nov 08, 2010 21:40 # 46885

andromacha *** replies...

Re: Guess who's back?!

Hey Harold, don't get me wrong... when I say that teaching English is not so much of a job it's not because of the teaching itself, but simply because right now I work two nights a week for 4 hours each day. It is true that I have to drive 40 Km and back so in the end I leave around 5:00 pm and get back home at 11:15 pm
It is tiresome but I have to say that it pays decently. Besides my boss seems to be wanting to give me more courses, so I can't wait for that to happen.

As for upkeeping the house you're totally right. If we were paying somebody to do what we do, we'd be dishing out quite a bit of money. Honestly I kind of despise my cousin's girlfriend... they moved in together and she basically does nothing around the house. She doesn't even know how to iron. They have a lady coming once a week to clean up and do the ironing... And she is 32 years old... I've been married since I was 23, and now I am almost 28 and I feel like I do have quite a bit of experience on how to upkeep a house, and you can't imagine how upsetting it is to know that he is together with some girl who doesn't even know how to do the laundry!! How is she expected to take care of him or of children I wonder... One night we popped in to say hi (after they invited us), and I had to help her fold the laundry, because she totally had no idea on how to do it. And I had to teach her how to put things nicely outside for them to air dry!! She would put everything crumbled up so that it would end up with a bunch of wrinkles... mah...

It is true that when I was living with my parents I wasn't doing everything around the house, but I did have eyes to see how my mom would do things around, how to iron, how to hang things outside... And my mom has always been a fan of "as soon as the water reaches your butt, you'll learn how to swim" kinda thing. And it is absolutely true!! I learned to iron on my own, and now I iron a shirt is 6 minutes doing a good job, and even beating my mom's record ;)

Italy no longer accepts illegal immigrants. Mr. B sink their boats!!!!!!!

Nov 09, 2010 05:29 # 46886

harold_maude *** replies...

Re: Guess who's back?!

I never though it ever was a woman's job to take care of her husband. I figured they were in this for the long haul and so it was a mutual and equal thing.
It's always a good thing for a husband/boyfriend to do the same work women do around the house because what if something happens and all of a sudden you can't do it all anymore.
Something to think about.

Your cousins girl friend doesn't seem to terribly upset by her lack of knowledge and your cousin doesn't seem to terribly upset by it either.
It's a good thing for you and them that you don't all live under the same roof.
It's good that you helped her, a very nice thing to do, but not your place because it isn't your house and not your responsiblity.
If it is disturbing to your cousin that the girl he is with has no domestic skills than it's up to him to talk to her.
If it doesn't bother him, then don't let it bother you.
It is his choice and his life.

You feel a certian way about the woman's role in marriage and the man's role and I respect that, but I have a hard time with it because to me is seems so out of balance.

Nov 09, 2010 09:48 # 46891

andromacha *** replies...

Re: Guess who's back?!

No, don't get me wrong... it's not that I think that women should do everything around the house while men are on the couch drinking beer and burping aloud :D

This thing doesn't bother my cousin simply because they have (or better he has) money to pay somebody to come and clean after them. But I find it ridiculous that they have to pay somebody a good bit of money just because she doesn't want/doesn't know how to do things in her own home. And if I can be totally honest something that pissed me off terribly was the fact that even MY MOM went there a few times to dust and clean up or iron... things that she won't do for her own daughter, but she would do for them, because the girl is totally incapable of!!

My husband helps me a lot; it's not that I am the one who is always cleaning, ironing and so on. Maybe I won't get him to iron, simply because I'd rather avoid having to throw away burned shirts while he's learning :P But everything else we share. At night I normally cook dinner, but he sets the table and cleans up the kitchen afterwards while I clean the cats' litter boxes. And on Saturdays we normally do chores together; he is specialized in cleaning the floors, while I do the bathroom.

Men and women have the same rights, but I do think that there are some things that should be of our competence, and other things that should be more for the guys... I would never try to sit under a sink and mess with it for example (even though I've done it before), but I would let my husband do it. I am used to my dad fixing things around the house, and I think that this is the right approach. Obviously if you're a woman and you live alone there are certain things that you should better learn how to do, otherwise you'll have to dish out a good amount of money to pay somebody to come and do it. But if you have the luxury of living with a man, then there are things that you are allowed to drop on him. Hawkeye has been learning a lot from my dad lately, and he is able to fix electricity stuff; we have a common problem that seems to be recurrent unfortunately (we are in quite an old house, and we're renting the place so we cannot do much about it), and after my dad came and fixed it once, he learned how to do it, and now he takes care of it on his own. I don't care for that kinda stuff :P

Italy no longer accepts illegal immigrants. Mr. B sink their boats!!!!!!!

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