Reading zen's journal

pers-cpqkr-2086594981@craigslist.org

I guess I'm just a little frustrated. I think I'm about to give up on love.
Why does it seem like I never attract the type of men that I want in my life but I'm a magnet for the ones I don't like or need in my life?
Is it impossible for a girl to just have a normal relationship with a guy?
I don't want to be the other woman, I don't want a friends with benefits situation. I just want someone to call my own.
It doesn't seem like love is something for everybody. It doesn't even seem like love is something that will come my way.
It's getting colder and I would like to have someone to cuddle up with.
If you ask me, I'm a catch. I can cook and clean, I work, I just graduated from college and I've got a great personality and sense of humor.
Why is it that I can't find a man who wants me?
And I'm so sick of all my friends (especially the ones who are always in relationships) telling me that I'm gorgeous and love will come. That the right man is around the corner.
Well I've been around the corner a million times and no such luck.
I guess I'm just running out of patience.

Sorry.. just felt the need to vent. If anybody can help me figure this out, shoot me an email.

*************
Your words run thru my head
as a train,
as i settle in for yoga
trying to clear my brain.

It doesn't seem like love is for everyone.

Some of us,
some of us
aren't quite civilized enough.
We're too loud,
boisterous
too something

it just doesn't come to us
we need training wheels
or something,
not forthcoming

maybe love isn't for everyone.
For the rest of us there's lust,
and prostitutes.
At least that's an honest relationship

some of us just haven't found it
It--
what is It,
what It be,
be a mystery.

I take my mat in yoga
uncomfortable.
I have to be there
my skin tight,
uncomfortable
not mine
but who else can fit it?

I watch the women,
dirtified
by my thoughts
now is not the time
for love
but if not now,
when?

Perhaps love,
or what passes for it
in my string of consciousness,
It isn't for me.

A fake passing through
of feelings,
emotions,
posing for true involvement,

I've been here for mere moments,
and already planning
my escape.
Love being,
not for me.

And then
I wind-up
missing
so much.

Once Fred Neitszche declared God is Dead, f*ck became the most important word in the English languag

Zen, you are amazing, but I'm going to quote you now, just because you're hatin' on women pretty hard. Don't take it personal.

I think you are just one of the millions of --men who prefer your misery over a meaning in your life. Somehow, I think the drama makes you feel alive, or something.

Is that fair of me to quote? In all honesty, I don't think of you that way - and even if I did, it's an awfully strong conclusion to draw from a post on a website, no?

With a post like this, can you claim to understand women? I find it difficult to reconcile this with you giving a woman a hard time for not knowing how to deal with a man - especially a man that that woman was in love with.

Again, forgive me for my two cents.

"History is more or less bunk." - Henry Ford