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I have four drugs that I use on a regular to intermediate basis: marijuana, alcohol, caffeine, and Advil. Today, I will talk about my usage of marijuana, explaining how being under new knowledge relates to it.
I first used marijuana early in 2007. Through a theatre program I hit a few parties with some French Canadian potheads. They were hardcore, but I was drunk enough each time to not remember much. Throughout '07 and '08 I smoked very occasionally while partying, as a few good times - a memorable Flaming Lips show, a couple wild fits of laughter - occurred between long droughts.
In the beginning of 2009, my girlfriend and I both moved into the city. I moved into a rented room in a house, and she moved into an apartment nearby with a couple. A stoner couple, to be precise. From there, the habit quickly took off for both of us, and our minds went wild with the new experience. Music, videos, cerebral conversations, food, jams, and love, all taking on new dimensions. The trip since then has been crazy and hazy, and a lot of the living has been so much fun that I get a deep sense of satisfaction just thinking about it.
Through time, my psyche while stoned has evolved, and lately, marijuana has been doing less positive things to my brain. It has become an experience of extreme clarity and mindfulness - so much so that I am consumed by my thoughts and the impact of my perceptions. Being under new knowledge is very stimulating and interesting, but it overwhelms me, and I am both quiet and fearful in this state. It's all a bit much, everything, to be taken in at once.
This drug has tuned my brain to see reality in a most vivid and direct way, but the trip makes me wander and I forget a lot of what happens. Worse, as the trip subsides I am overcome by a deep fatigue - one which is not easily fended off with coffee, though any consumption can be helpful. This leads me to consider the prognosis that weed is ruining my life, or at the very least hampering me by dulling my experience and my abilities. I find it a real drag that what is usually such a fine and harmless experience should be associated with such a negative impact on what I am accomplishing right now, but there it is.
The answer to my woes lies in a personal commitment to drastically reduce my usage. This is the appropriate response, and it is important to note that I am not putting responsibility on the plant. I got myself stoned, I am responsible for the consequences. The plant had little to do with it, except that it evolved such it its smoke trips me out. I was the one that burned and inhaled it.
This ties in to my stance on the legality of this drug. In my mind there is no question that it should be legal. Marijuana usage is not a criminal act, it is a personal choice. It is not free of consequences, but the reality is those consequences are the responsibility of the user. This is the policy we take towards alcohol, and it is the necessary stance we must progress towards with marijuana: speak the truth about its effects, safeguard personal freedom against unjust laws, accept as legitimate a legitimate business, and make it far safer and more regulated in the process.
Worse, as the trip subsides I am overcome by a deep fatigue
Cannabinol, a degradation product of THC, makes you tired. ;-)
Thank you for this very insightful post. I don't have anything to add at the moment, but as an occasional pot user I will watch this place closely.
When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.