Reading MelMel's journal

Have you ever had "one of those days"? How about one of those years? in my "group of friends" there is one girl who we all strongly dislike - I am told that hate is to strong an emotion to be expressed by an adolescant, you can decide for yourself.

Anyway, this certain individual was extremely depressed at the start of last year. So me being me, I took her under my wing and forced people to invite her to places and generally tried to make her feel better.

I soon realised that in her current mental state, for her to be happy, she had to consider herself to be "better" than myself. So i put up with it and lied and critisized myself praying that it would all end soon. It didn't.

We were both going on a study tour to China that year in october. In the months before this things rapidly got worse. I could not stand the sight of her. She was not content with her being "better" than myself. Now she decided it would be nice if she actually was me.

Gradually, I noticed her mannerisms changing and becoming a second rate copy of my own. Then she tried to die and cut her hair like mine. that failed dismally which was one of the highlights of my year. I no longer pitied her but i found her disgusting. She was no friend, I barely considered her a person.

When we got to China my patience was already run thin. Then on day 2 she was kind enough to send me nice long letter telling me everything I had done wrong, in TWO DAYS!!

I no longer speak to her and my friends are torn between me, and this individual whom they dont like but will complain to the school cousellor of they ignore her or even mention my name in her presence. You see, she figures that the whole situation is my fault. I am going on a drama tour to New Zealand with her in June this year too. Does anyone know any anger-managment techniques?

Anyway the current situation is this: I got caught bagging her and our parents decided we needed to sort it out or I couldn't go to NZ (as it is all my fault). So I grovelled and said the whole thing was my fault and that it was just a stage and that i was SOOoo sorry etc...so the whole situation has started once more. This year is going to be a good one. I can tell.

Look at me! I'm a prostitute robot from the future!

Well I don't know the whole story, but I think I'd a) tell her to leave me the fsck alone and b) stay away from her whenever possible. Judging from your post I think a little distance wouldn't be bad. That girl seems to have serious problems which you cannot solve for her.

"*sigh* Some men are really hard to manipulate!" - Orchid

Does anyone know any anger-managment techniques?

Running (or any other sport) is the only thing that ever worked for me. You can only calm so far by merely thinking about a problem. Give it a try, you'll find many situations more easily to endure when you don't have your raging body chemistry to fight against.

'Yeah, That's what Jesus would do. Jesus would bomb Afghanistan. Yeah.' - snowlion

This kind of things irratates me. When someone does their best to help a person, and that person just goes completly nuts on them. Its funny because this brings up an episode of Beverly Hills 90210 that I once saw when I was about 12...anyway I think you could do either of 2 things.

1. Sit down this girl and point out to her the things that she is doing. Tell her she has been hurting you and what she is doing is not fair at all. Point out that you have been their for her when she needed help, and that you will no longer tolerate her behavior. Then tell her that you no longer want to be around her, and that she kindly could leave you alone. Keep in mind that you should only use this choice if she is somewhat sane. Sometimes people like this are in their own little world and dont notice the impact they have on other people. Maybe if you point out how much she is hurting you she will snap back into reality and stop being a phycho.

2. The second choice is to have an intervention. Collect all your freinds, the guidance counsler, you parents and anyone else who is involved in this. First though you need to convice them that she is the problem, not you. And if these people are mentally sane, then they will be able to see that this girl is being nuts. This is only theoretical though, because I've only heard your side of the story. But lets say all is well, after you've convinced everyone of what this girl is doing. In order to aliviate this problem, you need the support of these people. If you dont get it, then this girl is going to continue beings nuts untill you lash out and make yourself look like the bad one, and that sounds like exactly what she wants.

If all else fails, say screw em all, because obvisouly they are all insane.

Good luck.

We should of brought a bag of rocks....

Mel, this is Rachel.
Very... Hmmm, what the word MR HARTLEY used? LUCID? Ah, yes. Anyway. You probably won't read this, whether you do or don't probably doesn't matter. Now for my "advice":

Well, MelMel... it seems to me that your characters are somewhat similar, if you'll excuse me for adding insult to injury. Except that you're prone to being more of a doormat, but that may have been because you were so desperate to go to New Zealand. God knows why, what with all the er... sheep... and farms... and that about all there is there that most people know of.

I think that no matter what you do, you will be wrong. If you're kind, you're being patronizing. If you ignore her, you're being a bitch and you will receive one of those charming letters again. If you're a little indifferent she thinks you are ignoring the problem.

This little bitch fight has escalated to the point where her real character is showing. By this time most people give up and move on. After all, the main reason people fight is because they hate each other and want to get away from each other. But she needs you desperately and wants to hang on, no matter what.

God help you, if he exists.

Thanks everyone who replied to this post.

Rachel, i decided to wait a while to cool down before i replied to your post. Yes you insult me. I thought you knew me but obviously i was wrong. I have never, and could never, treat a human being the way she has, repeatedly, not just to me, look at what she did to merryn.

I know you often say things without thinking which is why i have delayed in replying.

I cannot believe what you said considering the lot of you are too gutless to make a decision about anything. When people have problems do they fix it between themselves? No. They come to me and expect me to make it all better for them. I have fought and stood up for you guys and you cant, or wont do the same for me. That is not what friendship is about. I thought you knew that.

Hear me when i say this rachel because i am not joking, i owe you nothing. There are no ties whatsoever holding me to you guys except that i have nowhere else to go. I think i'd rather be nowhere than there though if this is how people are viewing the situation.

I never expected people to be on my side, because it is always me fighting with everyone on behalf of someone. I did expect some small amount of support from you though.

Whatever, it my mistake to trust someone in the first place. I know now that i should never have said anything about "it". Some things are best kept to yourself

trust no one but yourself - lesson of the day

Look at me! I'm a prostitute robot from the future!

Whatever, it my mistake to trust someone in the first place.

i cant see anything bad on this. the only thing you could change is: SELECT the people which you will trust in first place. simple as that. :)

I know now that i should never have said anything about "it". Some things are best kept to yourself

possibly. but its also a good to ask others about a stressing situation instead of "just eating and eating stress" into yourself, till you explode.

trust no one but yourself - lesson of the day

nice try, but picked the WRONG conclusion. if you go throu life like that, you possibly die. not physically, but mentally.

so keep on trying, on fighting - keep on your good will and hope.

it's what keeps me alive. being addicted to live :)

cu, w0lf.

Metal has no laws. Metal is the law.

This post was edited by oxygenius on Mar 05, 2003.

yes yes, but it was the lesson of the day, tomorrows lesson will highly probably be that todays lesson was wrong, the advantage of being a teenager is that your allowed to constantly change your mind and be moody and PMS'ieand the like.

will write in more detail later

-mel

Look at me! I'm a prostitute robot from the future!

Mel, I'm sorry. Not unusually, I spoke (typed) without thinking. Here is the logic behind my statement - I only get irritated with or fight with people that have similar characters to mine. Of course, because we are all human, we are all similar but hey, let's leave my crappy attempts at Philosophy out of this.

What I should have said was that you both started out with a similar problem: you both felt sort of "average", as we all do. Some people need outlets for personality, some people have no personality, I'll let you decide which one of you fits into which category. Anyway I did not mean that you were in any way petty of mind, spiteful, unoriginal etcetera. I only meant that you were similar in one insignificant way... and I'll leave it at that before I offend any more.

Love Rachel, who is very sorry and who is also working on her RE assignment. I'm sick of stupid abortion, who cares about whether the foetus lives or dies anymore?

This post was edited by lemonyeyes on Mar 13, 2003.