Reading Orchid's journal

I think today I finally found out about one of the reasons why I am always so unhappy with myself:
I can't reach that much people I want to. I never realized that before. But today someone said to me I couldn't get to close to him (german "zu nahe treten"). I can't. And after some memories coming to my mind I finally saw that this is one of the things in life I always wanted to achieve with every person I know! No matter if cousin, work mate, student or neigbour: I always want everyone to trust me so much to tell me things hardly anyone knows of him/her, just to help, listen and advide because this, I think, is the only thing I may be able to do. I don't have talents. But knowing someone is telling me a secret I have to keep or just someone asking me the meaning of a word used to give me the most complete satisfaction to my soul, makes me happy even with myself like hardly anything else and infinite sadness if people remain "locked"...

Strange. Anyone feeling similarly? :/

"Sie wollen nichts anderes. Sie wollen kämpfen! Sie sind Soldaten! Fucking Wahnsinnige!" - Noel G.